Richard Simmons' scissor sister Lisa Rinna knows you have multiple red carpet options this awards season, but she's hoping you'll choose TV Guide Network, where she and bearish boyband survivor Joey Fatone will preside.

The two are running a red carpet gantlet in the coming months that begins at this Sunday's Golden Globes, then hits the SAG Awards, the Grammys, and finally the Oscars, at which point crew members will power them down and wheel them into a humidity-controlled storage crate for safekeeping until next year's festivities.

We had a few questions for Lisa, which she gamely answered:

DEFAMER: Considering all the awards-show red-carpet viewing options in 2009, why should people watch you and Joey Fatone?
 LISA: They should watch us because Joey and I both have the best tits on the red carpet!

What do you regret eating recently?
 I regret eating the 5 pieces of pepperoni pizza and the 5 pieces of sushi at the buffet restaurant at the Cove in the Bahamas.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night and have dark thoughts? If so, what are they?
 [No response.]

Everyone's sacrificing lately. It's the hot new trend. What are you sacrificing?
 I am sacrificing any form of shopping consumption. I am not buying any clothes, shoes, bags, jeans - you name it. NO SHOPPING.

We were at the Playboy Mansion for a Halloween party once, and Alan Thicke was trying to get a three-way going with his wife. Would you and Harry ever consider that?
 NO 3 ways for me and Harry. Never had a 3 way don't want one.

Are Richard Simmons legs as buttery as they look on HD?
 Yes and more, they are scrumptious!

Thanks, Lisa! Our pre-show eyeballs will be firmly glued to yours and Joey's spectacular racks this Sunday at 6 (5 central).