On next week's Harry Loves Lisa finale, Lisa Rinna gets lip-reduction surgery. To Lisa, this lip-reduction surgery is meaningful. It's her fresh start! It's her responsibility as a mother, wife and daughter! She'll also be, like, totally hotter.

Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna were on Access Hollywood Live to promote their reality show, but everyone wanted to talk about her mouth. Lisa lost 48 micrograms and Harry still loves kissing those fish-like lips! Whatever floats your boat, dude.

The Jolie-Pitt brood begins school in a fortress of solitude in Budapest. Jennifer Aniston is the world's most eligible single lady. Chelsea Handler goes on a date with 50 Cent. Tuesday gossip is ready to mingle.

Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna are hitting the television screen once again! This time in their own six-episode docu-reality series. Tune in as cameras follow around the quirky, down-to-earth couple, as they work to reinvent themselves in the acting world.

This week, Star magazine investigates the perilous lives of celebrity assistants. But what's the point of having power if you can't abuse it? A guide to which underling abuses are reasonable, and which will just get you sent to jail.

A supermodel says she's "praying over Kate's boobs." Spencer Pratt says they're still too small. Everyone's got an opinion on Kate Hudson's boobs—but are they really fake? Or is she pregnant? An photographic investigation featuring celebrity witness testimony.

Is "fishers of men" a euphemism for cruising? Adam Lambert kisses a girl. Shakira makes fetal position sexy. Lil' Wayne has eight root canals. The guy who punched Romney is a famed rapper. Friday gossip wants to drill, baby, drill.

Don't worry, she followed it up with "shhh." A Real Housewife gets bounced from Fashion Week. Kelly Osbourne and Peaches Geldof's elaborate dance of avoidance implodes. John Mayer's so far gone, even Oprah won't touch him. Wednesday gossip cometh.

Adrian Grenier turns 33 today. Jessica Simpson is turning 29. City comptroller (and mayoral wannabe) William Thompson is turning 56. Former mayor David Dinkins is turning 82. Times film critic A.O. Scott is 43. Showtime chief Matt Blank is turning 59. Author and marketing guru Seth Godin is 49. Writer Alice Munro is 78. Actress Sofia Vergara is 37. Eunice Kennedy Shriver is turning 88. The Office's Phyllis Smith is 58. Socialite Lisa Anastos is 41. Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan is turning 52. And Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys is 55. Weekend birthdays below!

• Are Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick planning to leave the West Village behind? That's what Britain's Daily Mirror is reporting today, although the story seems to be based on the fact a moving truck happened to be parked outside the couple's townhouse yesterday (maybe Broderick was just rid of some old furniture?), so you may want to take the news with a grain of salt. [DM]
• Mariah Carey had some issues with her stylist in Cannes last week. But she walked away with "millions of free diamonds" when she stopped off in Turkey this past weekend, so hopefully that made up for the inconvenience. [P6]
• Kanye West says he doesn't read books or have any respect for books. But he's just written one that he'd really like you to buy and read. [Reuters]
• Mike Tyson's 4-year-old daughter, Exodus Tyson, died yesterday following her treadmill accident on Monday. [Us]

Newly implicit in the awards show gauntlet is the poison-picking question, "Joey Fatone or Lisa Rinna?" SAG nominee James Franco selected Fatone rather than his TV Guide Channel cohost. He chose unwisely.

Richard Simmons' scissor sister Lisa Rinna knows you have multiple red carpet options this awards season, but she's hoping you'll choose TV Guide Network, where she and bearish boyband survivor Joey Fatone will preside.

· It's all fun and games until tomorrow morning, when Matt Lauer interrupts a sober interview with a Palestinian spokesperson by shrieking, "I'm gonna be sick—there's a Richard Simmons-juice stain on this couch!"

• Nobody makes Harvey Weinstein wait and that apparently includes Penelope Cruz, who faced his wrath in London last week when she showed up late to a screening of Vicky Cristina Barcelona, then went up to her suite to change outfits, causing Harvey to scream, "Tell her to get her f***ing ass here right now!" [Mirror]
• So much for A-Rod. Madonna has reportedly turned her attention to a male model named Jesus, who she met in Brazil and who's now on tour with her. Less importantly, Guy Ritchie may be dating Brit heiress Jemima Khan. [P6, The Sun, People]
• Courtney Love says she's stopped taking her antidepressant medication so she can "feel the rage" when she records her new album. That sounds healthy! [Daily Express]

HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a suggestion that Pop Culture Doomsday shows no signs of abating, the Dark Lord Satan emerged from the charred remains of the Body Shop this afternoon to announce a brand-new reality project for TV Land.

Ben Stiller making his way into the Good Morning America studios ... Madonna's son David getting caught in the rain on the Upper West Side ... Robert Downey Jr. leaving his hotel in Midtown ... Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard walking to a toy store in Brooklyn ... Ugly Betty's Becki Newton signing autographs outside ABC ... Lisa Rinna walking around Midtown ... Kelsey Grammer and his wife returning to their hotel after a visit to the doctor ... and John Mayer walking near his apartment, completely covered up with a scarf over his face.

The latest celebrity said to be jumping on the nudie pregnant pictures bandwagon is Nicole Kidman, who was seen yesterday attending a "top secret" modeling session for a potential cover shoot with Frenchy photographer extraordinaire Patrick Demarchelier. While he's no Annie Leibovitz, and it's unknown which magazine this shoot was for, Demarchelier is a monthly contributor for Allure, Vogue, and Demi Moore's old knocked-up-while-nude stomping grounds, Vanity Fair. So whether or not Nicole is looking to appear on an upcoming cover of VF as Demi's successor is still unknown, but we took a look back at some classic big-bellied celebrity appearances in the past to see some glossy examples of what Kidman will be competing with in the Nude And Pregnant Hall of Fame:

On last night's Late Show, guest Amy Adams and David Letterman decided to review one of poufy-lipped red carpet host Lisa Rinna's numerous gaffes on Oscar night. And after seeing this particular stomach-turning foul for the third time, we're gonna have to agree with Letterman and Adams, who essentially came to the conclusion that the soap star turned Joan Rivers 2.0 "should be fired." The best part? Even Rinna agrees!

Having only recently declared him the Most Adorable Thing Ever, we must admit the video above might force us to reexamine our Casey Affleck position. Showing all the ill-tempered signs of someone who's survived a childhood rife with Ben-inflicted noogie and wedgie abuse, Affleck's SAG Awards interaction with Lisa Rinna demonstrates the most shocking disregard for pre-awards-show social conventions we've seen since Jeremy Piven openly questioned the salvageability of Billy Bush's very existence at the 2006 Emmys.

Google's Hot Search Trends for Thursday, January 31, 2008: Number 1 is Courtney Oliver, the 10-year-old veterinarian. Well, she took an 8 month online degree program. So, the 10-year-old piece-of-paper-holder. 18 goes to gossip maven Cindy Adams. Proving you're never too ancient to constantly Google yourself. (Google calls her hotness only "medium.") At 53 "Miserable failure" is still hanging on, most likely due to the old "Google bomb" that would bring the White House website up to the top of the list when these words are searched. Or maybe we're all just feeling dejected today. And at 61 we find someone named Lisa Renna. Proving that Americans love Dancing With the Stars, but (or maybe because) they can't spell. [Full list] Update: A tipster tells us, regarding the "miserable failure" search: "For several years, Google users could type "miserable failure" into the search engine and be taken directly to the official White House biography of George W. Bush. However, on January 31, 2007, Yahoo! News announced that Google had fixed this "link bomb" glitch. "