Happy belated 28th birthday to Christina Aguilera, who celebrated last night as any young lady her age might: By hosting a classy Clockwork Orange-themed party at Mozza.

We appreciate Stanley Kubrick's film quite a bit ourselves — enough to be disappointed that Aguilera is missing not only the codpiece in her Droog costume, but also the point. Failing a browse through Anthony Burgess's source novel — strung through with autobiographical references such as the gang rape of his wife during World War II and his own suffering during a home-invasion robbery — we thought at least the characters' beating and bludgeoning might be more geared to a Halloween get-together. If you really want to impress your friends, try a masked orgy a la Eyes Wide Shut or, better yet, a Dr. Strangelove party at which Chace Crawford arrives 90 minutes late on a nuclear bomb.