Curious about the Broadway debut of Katie Holmes, actor and Scientologist Tom Cruise's earthling bride? Or, more importantly, are you curious about what Tom Cruise is like in an enclosed space? A theatre insider tipster sent us the following report from an exclusive invite-only dress rehearsal performance of All My Sons, set to open very very soon:

Cruise was really low key. He was descended upon by a litany of producers—the only group of people in the house whose disposition and machinations are stranger than his own—at every. Available. Opportunity. He went backstage after the show; I imagine they waited quite a bit before coming out. Holmes didn't do any talking at all, it was all John Lithgow [doing the pre-show introductions]. When Martha Plimpton got there, she asked a friend: 'This is general admission? Shit.' She saw two of the boys from Coast Of Utopia and talked with them for five during intermission. It's a low-key night: most people are obliged by industry standards to keep their mouths shut and their camera phones off. In fact, most industry people there were far too scared to say anything after the show, and I couldn't really get a word out of anybody I was with - pretty typical for a preview audience and industry - but everyone was especially guarded last night. Besides which, other than not sullying The Good Name Of Our Lady Cruise as pertains to their job, most people in the business don't give a shit about her. So it goes.

So everyone was quiet and scared around Tom Cruise. Makes sense to us.