When the movie Super Size Me came out, showing the ravaging effects of a monthlong fast food diet, it was terrible PR for McDonald's. The company spent tons of money combating the perceptions from that one overwrought documentary, seriously! And now, in what can only be described as a gift from the marketing gods, some fat guy has gone an all-McDonald's diet and actually lost 86 pounds (pictured: before and after). But the company won't sign him as a spokesman. You shallow fools! You think he's too ugly, DON'T YOU?

Chris Coleson of Richmond, VA ate mostly McDonalds' salads and wraps for six months to drop his gut.

Mr. Coleson has not spoken with the fast feeder but said that people on the street ask him if he was inspired by Subway pitchman Mr. Fogle. (He's become something of a local celebrity after a couple of newspaper articles, including a front-page profile in the Richmond-Times Dispatch.) He said the idea was born out of his wife's skepticism at his ability to lose weight.

"I told her I could lose weight eating anywhere," he said. "I told her I could do it eating at McDonald's."

But!

Far from signing him as its next spokesman, McDonald's avoided attaching importance to Mr. Coleson's accomplishment. "There have been numerous success stories like this one, where consumers elected to follow a responsible diet with adequate exercise and incorporated McDonald's food in a very positive way," said McDonald's USA spokeswoman Danya Proud. "We continue to work on helping people understand how to strike the right balance between diet and physical activity."

Dr. Christine Gerbstadt, a spokesperson for the American Dietetic Association, called Mr. Coleson's plan of 1,200 to 1,400 calories per day a "starvation diet."

Ridiculous. So what if it is a starvation diet? That shouldn't dissuade the company from sending Coleson a fat check and sticking him in a couple of commercials. How many other huge weight losers who eat exclusively at your restaurant do you think are going to come along, McD's? Smarten up!

We really don't need another Jared, though. GOD.

[Ad Age, pic via InRich.com]