The poor, poor bastards Star magazine spent Saturday evening furiously shoving out their scoop that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie had gotten married in New Orleans yesterday. It was "an intimate wedding ceremony in the couple's adopted city" editor-in-chief and horrible person Bonnie Fuller's scribes report. And that got the kids at People magazine crazy! A couple hours later, they had tracked down a "source" who declared "There was no wedding." Then Star got slammed with The People's Elbow when the rag claimed that Brangelina wasn't even in New Orleans yesterday!

"The family spent a weekend in New Orleans two weeks ago-as Pitt broke ground on his Make It Right project to help rebuild the city's Lower Ninth Ward-but they have recently been in the Austin, Texas, area while Pitt films Tree of Life with Sean Penn." Damn, Star, you're just gonna take that?