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And here we thought Che had it rough with critics at Cannes. Enter Wim Wenders, the New German Cinema pioneer whose Paris, Texas and Wings of Desire were among the fest's most beloved films of the '80s, but yet who's fallen on hard times of late with a string of dodgy bombs including Don't Come Knocking and Land of Plenty. His return to the Croisette with Palermo Shooting, about a fashion photographer who comes face-to-face with death, isn't likely to help matters much — particularly not with the Absolute Worst Review of the 2008 Cannes Film Festival now making the rounds.

Wenders has reached a new low with Palermo Shooting, a film of startling and embarrassing banality and, yes, even silliness. One is hard-pressed to imagine any commercial future whatsoever for this film, and a pickup by a U.S. distribution company seems virtually impossible. ...

Every time the film goes philosophical on us, the resultant dialogue is sententious and banal. We learn, among other things, that people during the time of the fresco that Flavia is restoring were afraid of death, and that they still are, and that, to live life to the fullest, we should do everything as though it were for the last time. He speaks meaningfully of "absurd freedom" and "desperate futility." [The lead character] Finn also is repeatedly warned that doing this "fashion crap" is hurting his reputation in the art world, another not-exactly-fresh theme. ...

For most viewers, the question of the meaning of it all will come down to this: Where does Wenders find people to continue to invest in his films?

Did the reviewer just indirectly suggest that Wenders should stop making movies? Come on — isn't one German auteur with a bounty on his head enough?