So American Idol's "Idol Gives Back" charity masturbathon aired last night. If you didn't watch it, it means you hate Africa. And children. Many, many important celebrities showed up to do their part. Bono traveled to Africa to speak with people affected by the AIDS pandemic and bloomed beautifully into twee little Irishman. Robin Williams continued to plunge comedy's toilet with his Oscar. Teri Hatcher warbled her way through that trashy Carrie Underwood song about cheatin'. Brad Pitt got touched by an adorable little stagehand. Oh, and millions and millions of dollars were raised for charities around the world. So I guess that's good!

But did everyone have to be so self-promotiony? Does altruism actually not exist? Service was really big at my college (Catholics!), but it always seemed like people went on the service trips so they could make friends and get drunk. They didn't actually care about the house they built in Appalachia. "Idol Gives Back" seems to operate on the same sentiment, just writ large and Hollywoody. Maybe I'm overly cynical. I don't know. What do you think? Was this genuine? Does it matter? After all, money is money is money. In case you missed it, some choice clips of the evening are below.

Robin Williams horribly debasing himself

Brad Pit!!!!!!!!

Idiots answered telephones, and English people gave money

I was transported back to 8th grade

We were bathed in God's Word

Teri Hatcher: Why God why