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Isn't it crazy that the BIGGEST MYSTERY OF OUR TIME—whether or not hip hop/ R&B royalty Jay-Z and Beyonce actually got married last week—hasn't been officially solved yet? On Friday you guys were sending us all those tips about the crowd around Jay-Z's building for a rumored wedding, but we still don't have confirmation! The onstage yammerings of Mary J. Blige about the "wedding" are just not as good as a publicist's statement. And today the Daily News shows Jay-Z with no wedding ring on! What are all those so-called journalists doing these days? Elsewhere, gossip types say Beyonce is pregnant already. That would mean they had sex! We demand the national media drop everything and confirm this story, even if it means drawing every last reporter out of Iraq and stationing them throughout the Marcy Projects. Priorities, people.