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When you're five months pregnant, sheer fabrics and subtlety don't exactly go together. But Nicole Kidman, seen here promoting The Golden Compass in Japan yesterday, is brazen! She will show you her baby bump and you will like it! On the opposite side of the spectrum is Nicole's replacement, Katie Holmes, who wore a Look Ma, I'm Not Pregnant silk dress to last night's Costume Designer's Guild Awards. How tight was it? So tight that we now possess the knowledge that Tom Cruise prefers his women to wear low-cut cotton undies. But putting their triumphant maternal updates aside, what's with Tom's paramours and their preference for Auntie Mame numbers?

Nicole's lacey Elvira dress had more see-through panels than a peep show, poufy feathers where 80s Power Women used to put shoulder pads, and an underskirt that locked her high-kick thighs together like anchovies. As for Katie, while the dress isn't hideous, it's something Barbara Walters should wear, not a 29 year-old girl who recently announced she is to be called "Katie," not "Kate" as Tommy likes to coo. With all the sequins and feathers on both girls' outfits you could open your own Ricky's outlet and call it a day. Where is Tim Gunn when you need him?

[Photo Credit: The Daily Mail]