For some inscrutable Hitchensian reason, Observer party boy Spencer Morgan tried on a pair of Spanx, the cinching plastic panties so supposedly trendy they've been deemed worthy of this week's cover. His verdict? "In a nutshell—no pun intended—Spanx on a dude are no good." Also, "A fart in a pair of Spanx has no where to go. The gaseous beast is forced to put up a great trashing fight to escape, so much so that one can't help but take note of its struggles." How does Oprah tolerate this? [NYO]