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Another day, another story about how early employees at Google are richer than you'll ever be. Meet Bonnie Brown, Google's first masseuse, hired in 1999 for $450 a week and a "pile of Google stock options." Retired after five years of getting hands-on with engineers, she now spends her days with her private Pilates instructor, traveling for her charitable organization and watching her pile of money grow to absurd heights. And she looks so smug and happy in that picture, doesn't she?

The Times inexplicably interviews a Facebook employee named Jordan Moncharmont (hey, that name sounds familiar) who points out the obvious: Google's sky-high stock price can be a detriment to hiring, since the strike price for option doled out to new hires can be ridiculously steep. Of course, Moncharmont's financial analysis seems to be as shallow as his reported respect for users' privacy rights: His employer, like Google, is expected to start issuing restricted stock instead of options.