This image was lost some time after publication.


Real estate developer/reality television impresario/purveyor of high-quality mail-order meats Donald Trump has added yet another line of business to his relentlessly expanding, conspicuously branded empire, today announcing a partnership with retail monolith Staples to produce Trump Office™, the greatest line of luxury—yet tantalizingly affordable —executive seating this world has ever known.

We find it impossible to imagine that the savvy billionaire won't find a way to cross-promote this latest endeavor on one of his upcoming, sure-to-be wildly successful television shows, so look for The Donald to push away from the boardroom table, gently recline in the Westchester, and beckon forth one of his Trump's tramps to splay herself across his lap, pointing out how the supple leather of his new chair really absorbs the shock of each crisp blow he delivers during her dismissal spanking.