We realize a major escalation in the Iraq War is about to be announced, but it's difficult to focus on that sort of thing when most of the conflict-oriented areas of our brain are currently occupied with the Rosie vs. Donald vs. Barbara vs. (possibly, if you believe Donald) Rosie feud. When last we checked in, Donald Trump had sent in a scathing letter to The View's offices, accusing Walters of having called O'Donnell a "pig" and telling him she wouldn't "be here for long." Their response on today's show (video above courtesy of BWE) featured Barbara calling Trump, "that poor, pathetic man...we're moving on." Trump's lightning response time has us suspecting that he drafts his statements the night before, leaving a few specifics blank until the very last moment. ("I find it funny that you should call me a ______ on the show today, because Barbara said you're a ______. Send my love to Kelli! Best, Donald") In his latest missive, he defends The Apprentice: LA's ratings performance, and offered this mellow sentiment to the special ladies in his life:

Barbara has become a sad figurehead dominated by a third-rate comedian and I now wish she had not recently chosen me as one of the "10 Most Fascinating People."

No, you haven't become inured to the savagery of the battlefield: This feud's losing steam. We're calling for a surge on this front as well—it's really the only path to peace—perhaps through a pay-per-view Texas Hold 'Em tournament, with their spouses the stakes: Trump seems to have a bizarre preoccupation with Kelli, and what lesbian household couldn't use a Slovenian model/vampiress/whatever around the house?