This image was lost some time after publication.

If the Emmys are the Oscars' paste-eating cousin, we're nearly at a loss for what familial metaphor to apply to last night's People's Choice Awards—perhaps the PCAs are its chain-smoking, lupus-afflicted aunt with an internet gambling problem. Last night's procession of winners offered some unsettling glimpses into the state of current American popular favor (three words: Favorite Group: Nickelback), interrupted occasionally by a truly creepy, cosmetics-sponsored complexion prize. (Congratulations, Sandra Bullock, on your sweet, OLAY Total Effects Award victory!) Favorite Female Movie Star Jennifer Aniston and Favorite Leading Man Vince Vaughn (as opposed to Favorite Male Movie Star Johnny Depp—a not-very-clever way to get two movie stars to show up), recognized for their prescient work in The Break-Up, were both on hand to accept. So was Cameron Diaz, who concluded a rambling acceptance speech on how much she loves her "job" with a lightly-encoded kiss-off to recent dump-in-a-box gifter Justin Timberlake, who appeared live via satellite:

"I love making movies! I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it! [...] Thank you for choosing me. I hope to have a long and fun relationship together because I think we have a lot to explore."

That last comment managed to instantly kill the passionate cries of "We love you, Cameron!" coming from the fans in the upper reaches of the Shrine Auditorium; after a moment's silence, they looked sheepishly down at their feet and shifted their sentiments about the clingy actress to shouts of, "We think we need more space, Cameron!" and, "Maybe it's time we started seeing other Favorite Leading Ladies!"

A full list of winners can be found here.