Rejoice! Hollywood's Crappy Gifting Season Is Here Again!
With the holiday season now officially upon us, Variety reports on this year's expected entertainment industry gift-giving climate, and for a second straight year, things don't look good. Bosses can expect their desks to soon become cluttered by cards reading, "A donation has been made in your name to the William Morris Agency Association for the Advancment Of Agent Peoples," while those who've endured a year of blunt objects crashing off their skulls as they attempt to roll calls have another season of Chinatown-back-alley-quality electronics and edible lottery tickets. The disappointment from the downwardly-trending Hollywood gifting culture is enough to make one teary-eyed for the relatively heady days of freely exchanged baked goods:
But for many, the days of lavish gift-giving are a distant memory.
Industryites wistfully recall the bygone tell-tale crinkle of a cellophane gift basket bearing enough cupcakes to sate first and second assistants. "Last year, we congregated in the hallway wondering, 'Where is everything?' " said one ex-DreamWorks employee. "The baskets used to be crazy, gigantic."
Even more poignantly lamented is the yearly post-gorging ritual associated with the cupcake baskets, where executives gathered in a circle around their full-bellied assistants, demanding that the greedy underlings immediately vomit up the delicious gifts obviously intended for their superiors, a heartwarming holiday lesson about the importance of respecting one's place in the Hollywood pecking order.
And as long as we have you here, we once again make our yearly call for submissions about the gifts you're about to receive, whether they take the form of reviews of tragically crappy, borderline insulting tokens of appreciation (ingratitude always makes great copy), reports about the much better presents the department down the hall was blessed with (and so does seasonal jealousy), or whatever else you dream up. We know you won't let us down.