CLEVELAND — The free market is alive and well here at the Republican National Convention. Because in addition to the official, RNC-sanctioned merchandise for sale within the arena, private vendors are making a killing selling Trump-themed refuse to freedom-loving, Hillary-hating passersby everywhere.
Barack Hussein Obama II is 54 years young today. You are probably wondering (aloud to a stranger on the street at this very moment): What should I send Obama for his birthday? I’m glad you asked.
In searching for a Father’s Day present for my stepdad, I hit up all the best sites: Amazon.com, google: “father’s day”, HomeDepot.com, and finally Etsy. While my returns on the first three were lackluster—what’s he going to do with another grill spatula with a light wood handle?—I was surprised to learn that Etsy really came through for a gal in need.
V Stiviano launched a thousand lawsuits when she leaked audio of boyfriend and disgraced former Clippers owner Donald Sterling being racist on tape . But she couldn't win the big one, filed by Sterling's wife, demanding she return the expensive gifts he gave her during their extramarital relationship.
Jonathan Chait, you need a break.
It's Christmas!!!!! But who cares, because it's RUINED.
No Christmas presents for grown ups.
I moved into the second bedroom of a house owned by a woman my age. It quickly became apparent that she was anorexic, controlling, and neurotic.
To make sure everyone buys everyone the best gifts ever, this year Gawker has divided the universe of potential gift recipients into readers of our Gawker Media brother and sister sites.
New York is filled with scamps and scoundrels, perverts and pranksters, so when Brooklyn-via-Denver musician Travis Egedy, also known as Pictureplane, discovered a poster taped to a subway wall with a pinch of weed attached, he had to wonder: Could this gift be for real? And more importantly, should he smoke it?
Yesterday came news that Russian president Vladimir Putin possibly stole one of New England Patriots owner Robert Kraft's Super Bowl rings during a 2005 meeting. Or at least, that's what Kraft told attendees at a gala on Thursday. Today, president Putin is denying that he stole the ring, saying it was a great gift.
And so it turns out that the biggest gift would actually be from Jimmy Kimmel.
Making couple friends seems like a social headache. There are many chances for things to backfire. Each person has to like, or at least tolerate, three other people. It's much more complicated than a forming one-on-one friendship, for sure. But, the payoff seems like a fun assurance of double-dates for always, so it's easy to understand the effort on the part of Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni to woo over their desired couple friends, the Obamas.
"Which camel, Monsieur Président? Oh, that camel? Ah, yes. We ate it."
Your family doesn't get you at all. This Christmas, they got you $50 gift card to Forever 21, a $25 certificate to Starbucks, and a $30 card to Blinds to Go, when at heart, you're a caffeine-allergic nudist who lives in a windowless hut. Why couldn't they have just given you cash?
The best thing about celebrities is that as long as at some point some charity somewhere gets money, they can still be bought and sold like common chattel. This is especially convenient around the holidays, when the awkward rich, flush with cash and scant of social skills, start itching to give one another elaborate gifts.
As of today, Christmas is only two weeks away, which means that we only have 54 more shopping weeks until next Christmas.
