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We are not exactly sure what Code.tv is all about (tagline: Your source for privileged lifestyle intelligence), but Clublife directs us to a video promo for the nightclub Cain (tagline: i-bankers gone wild at NYC's most decadent nightclub).

In the two-minute video, our guide A.J., a 23-year-old "analyst at a large investment bank", takes us through a typical Thursday night ("night that we ball") at Cain. A.J. promises "models and bottles", assures us "we're just getting started", vouches for the guys he rolls with ("they're the real deal"), and describes pretty much everything as "hot" and/or "crazy".

Gather the kids around for this, they'll thank you later. Watch and weep.

Cain: i-bankers gone wild at NYC's most decadent nightclub [Code.tv]
By a show of hands... [Clublife]