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• Well, that solves it: It's Anna Nicole Smith herself who's cashing in on the photos of her with her newborn child and son Daniel, who died shortly after the pics were taken. With the help of an aggressive photo agent and the money-throwing suits at In Touch and Entertainment Tonight, she's set to bring in around $600K. Self-exploitation heals the heartache, doesn't it? [Lowdown]
• Joe Simpson reaches a whole new level of fucked-up and crazy: he actually acts as a paparazzo, taking pictures of his daughters — the same images that all the other swarms are taking — and selling them to WireImage as part of an exclusive deal that cuts out all other photographers. Eventually, Simpson will strike this kind of deal with Penthouse. And then, only then, being daddy will be worth it. [Radar]
• In a very public screaming match, Lindsay Lohan tells her partner in crime, mom Dina, to "go to hell" — during Dina's birthday party, no less. But not even the birthday girl gets to gank Lindsay's stash. Bitch had it coming. [Page Six]
• Rosie O'Donnell's big, scary lesbian liberalism makes View co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck cry. And when Elisabeth cries, the ratings win. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Diddy pulls a diva act. When someone wears white chinchilla, that's usually a given. [Philly Daily News]
• In his divorce, Matt Leblanc will be representing himself. Pitfalls and blunders, accompanied by a laughtrack, TK. [TMZ]
• Stephen Baldwin continues to spread the word of baby Jesus and, in the process of doing so, remains in the public eye. Troublesome. [Page Six]