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Because the entire universe would be sucked into an infinitely dense black hole the size of a double-sized, special wedding issue of Us Weekly should a single utterance from the mouths of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie go unrecorded by a roomful of wire service and tabloid reporters, the AP notes that the world's most famous new parents briefly emerged from their Namibian hidey hole to let us know that they are deeply committed to maintaining young Shiloh's illegitimacy by forgoing a meaningless marriage ritual:

"There is nothing in the air. The focus is the kids, and we are obviously extremely committed to the children and as parents together," Jolie told a news conference. "So that kind of says it for us, and to have a ceremony on top of it is nothing."

We hate to criticize two people who have already done more good through the act of procreation than anyone since the Virgin Mary, but this decision does seem a little selfish and shortsighted. Since they've already passed up a chance to sell Shiloh at the peak of her value, auctioning their wedding photos (a picture of mohawked ring-bearer Maddox in a tuxedo could bring millions on its own) could help make up some of the financial shortfall from that squandered opportunity.