Actress Michelle Rodriguez has come out as bisexual (or something like that): "'Men are intriguing. So are chicks.' She shrugs." Oh. (I shrug.)

We all know a closet case or two who everyone knows is gay, but just needs to finally come out of the closet. On this National Coming Out Day, give them a little nudge by dropping off one of these celebrity National Coming Out Day Cards.

After partying her ass off with her ass out in Cannes, Michelle Rodriguez wore her butt-revealing bikini again in Monaco, where she spent the weekend yachting. Lindsay Lohan : Boobs :: Michelle Rodriguez : Butt. Poor LiLo and MiRo, hopeless hostages to the escape artists of private parts. [Images via Flynet]

If you were rich and famous and had a movie to promote, you would be in the south of France right now basking in the sun and strolling down the red carpet in a couture creation. But you're not. You're reading this on the internet somewhere. Because we're jealous, let's all make fun of the stars who are there, shall we?

Last year, the Cannes Film Festival's designated troublemaker was Lindsay Lohan, who eventually ended up in jail for her probation-violating week of debauchery. With LiLo cleaning up her act stateside this year, who will be our party hearty ambassador to Cannes?

Sure, after filming Avatar and Battle: Los Angeles, she's got more experience dealing with extra-terrestrials than most of us, but seriously, folks, after watching this interview, we've upgraded the actress's condition from "kooky" to "bat-shit."

Last night brought the airing of the World Music Awards (yawn), co-hosted by Hayden Panettiere and Michelle Rodriguez (buh?), and J.Lo herself opened the event with a medley of, well, basically every song she's ever released. Love nostalgia? Video's inside.

Grindhouse director Robert Rodriguez apparently put together an early trailer for star-studded Mexploitation film Machete as a "Cinco de Mayo message for Arizona," featuring the likes of Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, and Danny Trejo fighting violently to protect illegal immigrants from racist politicians.

Cops visit Lindsay for two reasons in two days. Mariah Carey gains 57 lbs. Chace Crawford finds love in the time of volcanic eruption. Michelle Rodriguez's coming out party is saved. TGIFriday gossip roundup.

Actress Michelle Rodriguez is hosting a party for GO Magazine. It's a lesbian magazine. (via)

Today Ricky Martin dropped a crazy truth bomb on the world and acknowledged he is a "homosexual man." Yeah, duh! But he's not the only public figure still hiding—unsuccessfully—in the glass closet.

We couldn't make it to the premiere of Avatar in L.A. last night, because it's far. Fictional freelancer Betsey Morgenstern cashed in her frequent flier miles and made the trip for us. Here is her report.

LiLo lied about saving those kids in India, almost as embarrassing as Dina Lohan truly out-leeching herself. Tiger Woods and Rachel Uchitel are in Palm Beach, separately. Michelle Rodriguez talks vaginas and lesbian sex tapes. Monday gossip, locked and loaded.

Adrian Grenier turns 33 today. Jessica Simpson is turning 29. City comptroller (and mayoral wannabe) William Thompson is turning 56. Former mayor David Dinkins is turning 82. Times film critic A.O. Scott is 43. Showtime chief Matt Blank is turning 59. Author and marketing guru Seth Godin is 49. Writer Alice Munro is 78. Actress Sofia Vergara is 37. Eunice Kennedy Shriver is turning 88. The Office's Phyllis Smith is 58. Socialite Lisa Anastos is 41. Anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan is turning 52. And Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys is 55. Weekend birthdays below!

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie went to the Stop & Shop in Oyster Bay with two of their kids on Saturday and were "very friendly" to employees of the store. Please try to contain your amazement. [Us]
• Lindsay Lohan must be hard up for cash, since she's reportedly in discussions to star in a topless show in Las Vegas. Even worse: She seems to think it will "really revitalize her career and give her some serious theater cred." [Fox]
• Early Show anchor Julie Chen and her boss/husband, CBS chief exec Les Moonves, are expecting their first child this October. [P6]
• Speaking of kids, Amy Winehouse's rep says that the rumors the singer is adopting a child from the Caribbean are untrue. Be thankful for that! [DE]

You have to admire a renaissance basketcase: Lindsay Lohan is thinking of dancing topless, Michelle Rodriguez advised a male stripper and Mel Gibson's lady friend is also a sort of paper blogger.

♦ In an interview with Barbara Walters which airs Friday, Peter Cook says it was Christie Brinkley's fault he cheated on her because she wasn't "meeting his needs." Oh, also, he'd like you to know he's really not a pervert. [NYDN]
♦ Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are back together, although friends say they're "taking it slow." [People]
♦ Angelina Jolie got a tummy tuck, or at least that's what the Star says. [Star]
♦ Amy Winehouse's spokesperson says the singer is not suicidal. In fact, the rep says, "she's fine." Of course she is. [People]

Though she's had her fair number of brushes with the law, Michelle Rodriguez continues to confound the industry by working steadily. She's currently filming Avatar, a grueling shoot that requires her to wear a motion-capture device not unlike an old-fashioned diving suit, as James Cameron's Jesus Cameras™ provide the required fantasy spacescapes around her. There's also her exciting Shell-truck-detonating work in Fast and Furious. But for millions of Lost fans worldwide, she will forever be remembered as Ana Lucia Cortez—a castaway cop snuffed by the cruel hand of overpopulated-island fate, plus a network head sick of reading about her latest arrests. EW.com now reports that all fences and landmass-disappearing donkey wheels have been mended, as Rodriguez is set to return for a single episode, probably as a "flashback or via hallucination," in the coming season.They offer several theories regarding the how and why, but we'll throw our own into the mix: Maybe she was wearing a Locke disguise, and it was really her in the casket all along. Who really cares? Ana's back!

After all her fun-filled DUIs and failures to properly account for them, we expect nothing but the nastiest quotes to drip from jailbird Michelle Rodriguez's mouth. And most recently, she's directing her curse-filled anger towards we, the media. As the SCRAM bracelet-wearing actress tells Latina, anyone who dares to hypothesize about her sexuality and whether she likes girls or boys is just plain "slime":

· Sure, Rickrolling is a fun way to amuse yourself while harmlessly pranking your friends. But were you aware it might have added benefits, such as quieting your cranky infant? [YouTube]
· Meet Tricia Walsh Smith, who's harnessed the power of YouTube and a Magic: The Gathering deck to totally out her sleazebag of a Broadway producer ex-husband. [YouTube]
· "Sign district" status for downtown and K-Town brings us one step closer to the blinking neon, replicant-infested L.A. we all wish would get here already. [Curbed LA]
· Kim Cattrall is thrilled to star alongside Daniel Radcliffe in PBS's Samantha and Harry Potter Try Something Period and Artsy-Fartsy For a Change of Pace. [AP]
· Michelle Rodriguez on her sexuality: ""What the majority of [people] want to know is what I'm doing with my vagina, and I think that that's sick." Translation: Not putting penises in it! [latina.com]