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From the Department of Shit We Wish We Didn't Care About But Can't Help Ourselves: Pete Doherty, formerly the lead singer for Brit-rocket outfit The Libertines, now of Babyshambles and a rehab facility near you, is claiming to have secretly wed supermodel Kate Moss. The two have had a very public on-again, off-again relationship, which was never short on drama thanks to Doherty's romantic heroin and crack problems. (Although we have to admire the perseverance of an addict who goes to fucking Thailand for rehab.) Exactly the sort of father Moss has been looking for her daughter Lila, no doubt.

It gets worse: The two are allegedly in town for Fashion Week, meaning that your dealer's supply will in no way meet the forthcoming demand.

Doherty: 'I've Married Moss' [Irish Examiner via Productshop NYC]