Look at it. It's a tire. It's just a wheel on a car that you drive all the time. If it's flat, who's going to change it? Me and your mother? Learn something, for chrissake.

What skills do you have? Not "emoji poetry" skills—real skills? You can't build a fire. You can't survive in the wilderness. You can't even make your own sandwich. We got you this car. You didn't buy this car. We bought you this car. All we ask is that you pay for gas, you maintain it, and.... god damn it, if you get a flat out there, you change the god damn tire. Can you do this for us? Absolutely not:

A new survey, released Tuesday, finds 52% of U.S. teens ranging from 15 to 17 years old don't know how to replace a tire. A total of 44% don't know how to examine the tire tread depth and 32% can't figure out how to check tire pressure.

You examine the tire tread depth... literally by sticking a little stick in there. See how deep it is. Jesus. The tire pressure... you stick the little gauge on there. That's all there is too it. For crying out loud. Google it if you have to. You're carrying an electronic device in your pocket that provides instant access to all the world's knowledge. Just change the freaking tire. Where did we go wrong?

We shouldn't have let you watch all that "manga." Good lord.

[Photo: Flickr]