There’s an old adage in journalism, probably: “Sometimes you chase the story, and sometimes you become the story [because a witness in a murder trial just used your face as an ashtray.]”

But who’s to say, really? For sure Sydney 9NEWS reporter Alex Bernhardt, whose aborted attempt at an interview with an accused murderer’s character witness ended up becoming a first-person account of a journalist under literal fire.

The truly bizarre segment is mostly just footage of the accused murderer’s witness smoking a cigarette over a baby carriage, while her male companion runs up and casually barks like a dog. The assault, which she apparently won’t be charged for, is almost secondary to how bonkers this whole story is.

The video also helpfully includes a highlight reel of journalists getting jumped. Bottom line, Australia sounds like a deeply terrifying locale and remains low on my list of dream vacations. And if we’re being honest here—if I really wanted to go somewhere with disturbingly large bugs and uncharmingly disturbed residents, I would just go to Florida.

Contact the author at gabrielle@gawker.com.