The State Department just released a new batch of Hillary Clinton’s private emails, so you know what that means: lots of corny, goofball emails asking for articles to be printed out, plus some genuinely interesting items. Like Madame Secretary trying to do an HR favor for some friend of Sid Blumenthal.

In a message dated December 29th, 2009, longtime Clinton booster, sneaky snake, and clingy email contact Sidney Blumenthal asked Hillary Clinton why his friend (name redacted by the State Department) hasn’t gotten a job yet:

Sid also asks, in no uncertain terms, if Clinton can do something about it. That same day, she emails her Chief of Staff Cheryl Mills for answers. A reply from Mills is redacted entirely, prompting a message from Clinton in which she just straight up asks if they can hire this guy:

It’s good to have powerful friends! Unfortunately there’s zero indication of who this was all about, and why Blumenthal was vouching for him so hard. If you have any ideas, please let me know.

Almost as interesting is a thread between Clinton and longtime counsel/damage control operator Philippe Reines, who had a PR beef with big literary baby Ayelet Waldman in 2012. Waldman accused Reines of smearing her over a boring article she’d written in Marie Claire:

High beltway drama. But emails from Reines show that he was just as rattled as Waldman, and pretty shitty at his job, which is from preventing even a minor controversy from touching the Secretary of State:

It is objectively very funny that Hillary Clinton used to tease Philippe Reines by saying Ayelet Waldman was his “girlfriend.”

Other miscellaneous funny bits include:

Olympic-level kiss-ass Sid Blumenthal sending multiple emails complimenting Hillary Clinton’s glasses

Clinton asking an aide to print out the entirety of the Washington Post’s website

Barbara Walters thanking Clinton for the “magnificent orchid plant” she sent her

An email between Clinton and Huma Abedin with the subject line “Koch” that is completely redacted

Clinton not even bothering to reply to yet another pointless email from Blumenthal, and asking someone to respond on her behalf

“Your Max is a mitzvah!”

Sid Blumenthal nagging the Secretary of State of the United States to send his friend a thank you note

Clinton asking to have an email list of flattering tweets about herself printed out

“Bon Jovis”

This world historical ass-kissing email from dirtbag PR swindler Lanny Davis to Clinton, in which he compares her to Atticus Finch

This, too, she asked to have printed.

Photos: Getty

Contact the author at biddle@gawker.com.
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