Where is the Royal Baby? The tiny heir to the British throne has been born (we're told!) but remains in the Lido Wing of St. Mary's Hospital with his parents—though he may make an appearance today.

In his heart, man yearns to be ruled, republican and royalist alike: And so even here the citizens of a country founded atop the bayonetted bodies of revolutionaries and radicals await whatever glimpse possible of the mostly inbred, half-German suckling whose birth ensures the succession of the Saxon kings of Wettin.

And we might just get our chance! Prince William and Duchess Catherine remained in the hospital overnight, but may check out today, stopping on the hospital steps as William's parents did three decades ago. If nothing else, London will be treated to 41- and 62-gun salutes, and the bells of Westminster Abbey will peal for three hours. You can also collect your special edition of The Sun—renamed The Son—though we're partial to the Private Eye front cover: