On Saturday night, Donald Trump appeared in the parking lot of Urbandale High School, in suburban Des Moines, Iowa, to speak to the teens gathered there before their fall homecoming dance. “Hello folks,” Trump said. “Oh, they’re so young. Look at them, so young and beautiful and attractive.”

The real estate developer went on to offer the teens life advice: “If you can stay away from the alcohol and stay away from the drugs, it’s a big, big barrier that you won’t have to work out. And it’s so important,” Trump said. “You represent so much. You represent the future. You represent something very important.” A low keening, full of chaos and blood, could be heard in the distance.

“You have to go and follow what you love, you have to do it,” he continued. “And you just have to follow your heart and you’ll be successful. And it may not be pure monetary success, because I know people that are the wealthiest people in the world and they’re not happy.”

The Associated Press reports that Trump seemed surprised to find himself there, noting that he could be “on Fifth Avenue, this beautiful apartment, watching whatever,” but instead was in a high school parking lot. The sky, dark like a bruise, cracked and wailed.

During a question-and-answer session, one student asked if, as president, Trump would consider appointing a Muslim to his cabinet. “Oh absolutely, no problem with that,” Trump said. “Would I consider putting a Muslim-American in my cabinet? Absolutely, no problem with that. OK?” Small tears in the fabric of reality widened.

Another questioner raised his history of insulting women, the Des Moines Register reports, but Trump interrupted her before she finished speaking. “I think women are the greatest,” he said. “No, I think they’re superior to men. Let me tell you—I think they’re far superior to men. Women—they’re great. And I will take care of women’s health issues.”

The yawning maw just below the surface of all things opened up and swallowed them all, their silent screaming smiles etched into a history no one will read.


Photo credit: AP Images. Contact the author of this post: brendan.oconnor@gawker.com.