Fleeing for your life is the new staycation, and no one has made it look as fabulous as adopted Muscovites Edward Snowden and his state-sanctioned girlfriend, Lindsay Mills. Vogue is offering some advice on how the leaker's lady can attract as much attention as possible.

For a discreet stroll around Moscow, we think Mills would do best to embrace her adopted countrymen's fondness for fur—and a touch of Bonnie Parker panache—in a camouflage look from Valentino.

The recommended subtle gear ranges from "Moncler Gamme Rouge lapin fur ushanka hat, $1,095" to "Pierre Hardy mixed media fur-front sneakers, $1,145." There's also this ensemble, which costs around $7,000 and includes several shades of neon:

This is all wrong. If you want to keep a low profile abroad, it's best to dress like the locals, and modestly. This outfit is only like $25 on Amazon, and there's a matching "dancing Russian guy" outfit to go with it:

While Vogue's urban tsarina looks are pretty awesome (in taste and price!), we can only assume this feature was planted in the magazine by a DoD counter-intel squad, given how conspicuous those neon chevron stripes would render the pair under Moscow's gray October sky. Nice try, "fashion industry."