nyc
Asshole Cablevision Boss Jimmy Dolan Fires Security Guard Who Doesn't Recognize His Asshole Face
Maggie Lange · 04/02/13 09:32AMNew York State Senator and City Councilman Arrested for Trying to Rig Mayor's Race
Maggie Lange · 04/02/13 08:07AMThe NYPD, Which Deplores Racial Profiling, Orders Cop to Stop 'Male Blacks 14 to 20'
Hamilton Nolan · 03/22/13 10:00AMThe NYPD's public safety policy of "Harass all young minority males who show themselves in public," politely dubbed "Stop and frisk," is currently on trial for its legal life. Hilariously (unless you are a young minority male), police officials are still able to insist with a straight face that such a program does not constitute "racial profiling." Hey, let's roll that tape, recorded by an NYPD officer who was being berated by his superior!
NASA's Advice If an Asteroid Heads for Times Square: 'Pray'
Taylor Berman · 03/19/13 07:27PMHere's What Chelsea Clinton's $10.3 Million Apartment Looks Like
Maggie Lange · 03/19/13 03:34PMRich celebukid Chelsea Clinton and her other side of the tracks husband Marc Mezvinsky will move into a 5,000 square-foot prewar apartment with expectedly high ceilings, shiny hardwood floors, and park views. The Whitman, a 1924 building by Madison Square Park in NoMad, is very close to their loft in Gramercy where they supposedly live now.
You Have Nothing Interesting to Say About Brooklyn
Hamilton Nolan · 03/18/13 12:17PMIt's not just that you don't have anything interesting to say about Brooklyn; we don't have anything interesting to say about Brooklyn. Neither blogs, nor magazines, nor newspapers, nor serious academic thinkers, nor urban planners, nor philosophers, nor international jet-setters, nor fashion mavens, nor foodies, nor social theorists have anything interesting to say about Brooklyn. Neither wide-eyed outsiders, nor wry, self-loathing insiders have anything interesting to say about Brooklyn. Neither griping native Brooklynites nor dewy recent transplants have anything interesting to say about Brooklyn. And—it should go without saying—the glossy, luxury ad-laden fashion magazine insert of the New York Times does not have anything interesting to say about Brooklyn.
Incredibly Unsuccessful Bank Robber Probably Needs a Hug Today
Hamilton Nolan · 03/13/13 08:51AMConey Island Is Cleaner Since that Devastating Hurricane Hit
Hamilton Nolan · 03/11/13 01:49PMBeloved New York day trip destination and shithole Coney Island was hit hard by Hurricane Sandy. Not to worry: Matt Chaban reports that, with the official opening of CONEY SUMMER 2013 FUCK YEAH CLAM STRIPS *VOMITS* just weeks away, the rebuilding effort has successfully rehabilitated the charming hellscape. Buildings, completely remodeled! Businesses, spiffed up! Rides, scrubbed and repainted! The very sand on the beach sifted for debris, leaving the beaches "cleaner than they probably have been in a century!"
Osama bin Laden's Son-in-Law Brought to NYC for Trial
Maggie Lange · 03/08/13 09:36AMA secret operation sometime last week has brought Osama bin Laden's son-in-law to New York, where he will appear this morning under heavy security in a New York federal courtroom. There, the former high-school teacher will answer charges of conspiracy to kill U.S. citizens as a key member of al Qaeda's inner circle.
NOAA Predicts 2-8 Inches of Sloppy Snow to Hit New York
Maggie Lange · 03/06/13 12:25PMHamilton Nolan · 03/05/13 09:33AM
Giant Luxury FutuRoboCondo Development to Make Williamsburg's 'Edgy' Past Even More Archaic
Hamilton Nolan · 03/04/13 12:55PMThe Domino Sugar Factory is a big old abandoned factory by the Williamsburg bridge. Soon, the Domino Sugar Factory will be a virtual forest of gleaming new condos rentals and office buildings including not just one, but two huge towers with holes in the middle of them. "This has the opportunity to be what new Brooklyn says to the world," said the project's architect. And what the new Brooklyn says to the world is, "It is now easier than ever for the financiers who will soon make up the bulk of the residents of Williamsburg's waterfront to land their hovercrafts inside of their be-holed condominium tower."
Finally, Fashion's Night Out Is Over
Maggie Lange · 02/27/13 02:08PMAfter a very expensive four-year run, Fashion's Night Out is over (in the U.S.). Tastefully launched during the peak of the 2009 recession, FNO was initiated to encourage spending by setting up a DJ booth in a Victoria's Secret, giving you a glass of bad champagne, and steering you towards some designer-y clothes. By last year, FNO had spread to over 500 cities in the U.S. and 30 internationally.
Times Square is NYC's Happiest Place; Hell Is the Nation's Saddest Word
Maggie Lange · 02/21/13 02:54PMMike Bloomberg Will Leave the Homeless Worse Off Than He Found Them
Hamilton Nolan · 02/20/13 10:30AMNew York City Michael "Mayor Mike" Bloomberg, the 20th richest human in the world, said this yesterday about his administration's policy of requiring single adults "to prove they have no other alternatives when they are seeking access to a homeless shelter," and of barring homeless families and children from city shelters during freezing weather "if officials determine they have an alternative place to sleep:"