If you didn't thumb through today's Variety, you missed a chance to share in the trade paper's rousing salute to Two and a Half Men's 100th episode (nothing says, "Fuck you, disapproving TV critics tragically out of touch with America's lowbrow sitcom tastes!" like hitting triple digits), an issue featuring enough congratulatory advertising to fund Charlie Sheen's cheerleader-themed Real Doll hobby well into the next century.