In your finally Friday media column: Greta Van Susteren creeps about the globe, Joe Biden absolutely loves reporters, Arianna Huffington vs. the NYT continues mildly, a hot new journalism trend, and a NewsBeast departure.

Today, the 15th of April, is "The Day of the Sun" in North Korea, the day on which the nation's founding father Kim Il-sung was born 99 years ago. But unlike his son, Kim Jong-il — who was born magically on Baekdu Mountain under a double rainbow on the same day as the creation of a new star in the sky — the late Kim was just your average Marxist guerilla from a modest background who single handedly defeated the Japanese in World War Two and went on to found the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, all while on his way to becoming the "Great Leader."

Like a videogame before it, the long-delayed remake of the '80s Cold War action flick Red Dawn (in which evil Russians invade the US and a group of American teens begin a guerrilla campaign against them) has decided to change the villains of their film from Chinese to North Korean. Only problem? The movie's already been filmed.

On a recent trip to North Korea photojournalist Steve Gong covered the back of his 5D Mark ll camera with black electrical tape, put it around his neck and left the video function without the permission of government officials.

North Korea hopes to make some cash selling carbon credits, but opponents are already poo pooing all over their plan: "Who in the world wants to pay for North Korea that is blamed for its nuclear weapons programme?" Jeez.

In advance of joint U.S.-South Korea military drills this week, North Korea has released a statement today threatening to 'mercilessly' attack both countries. But now they're just recycling their old threats:

The South Korean military today sent tens of thousands of helium balloons toward North Korea with leaflets informing people there of the revolutions taking place across the Middle East and reading, "a dictatorial regime is destined to collapse," according to Bloomberg.

South Korean military sources claim that North Korea is working at the site of its two previous nuclear bomb tests — "obvious" proof that they are "preparing for a third nuclear test." Oh, great.

We were told ahead of time that "colorful events will take place" for Dear Leader Kim Jong-il's birthday on Wednesday, but we could have never guessed just how awe inspiring the celebration of his 69th year of life would be. According to the Korean Central News Agency, a "mysterious natural wonder" took place above Kim's magical mountain birthplace, Mount Paektu:

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-il turns 69 today—that is, it is the 69th anniversary of his glorious birth on sacred Baekdu Mountain. What kind of events will take place? "Colorful events will take place," Korean News Service helpfully informs the curious. And that's not all!

No one has so far been able to prove that Kim Jong-il's son, Kim Jong-un, is being groomed to take over North Korea... until now. Analysts and defectors have concluded that Little Kim's new fur hat proves he's taking power.

Kim Jong-il's loafer-loving son Kim Jong-nam, speaking with Japanese reporters, said his father never wanted to hand power over to one of his sons but did so in order to "stabilize the framework of the nation." Yeah, that makes sense.

[Dear Leader Kim Jong-il eats a tasty biscuit in this photo released today by the Korean Central News Agency. Image via AP]

For $1,300, you can enter the North Korean Amateur Open golf tournament in Pyongyang, this April. You'll be playing the same course where Kim Jong-il miraculously shot 11 holes in one — his first time ever playing golf!

Fighting has broken out between North and South Korea (on the internet).

North Korea's heir apparent Kim Jong-un turned twentysomething today but it's a rather quiet affair, with "no special rations or celebrations" for the people. South Korean hackers also posted birthday greetings on the North's official Twitter and YouTube pages.

Dishes are approved by the Dear Leader but guaranteed not to make you Il. By expanding into Dubai and Amsterdam, the North Korean government's eateries are providing an alternative to arms sales in raising foreign capital. Food not bombs, indeed!

North Korea's official Korean Central News Agency issued a New Year editorial today that called for better relations with South Korea, while threatening a "nuclear holocaust" if the South tries to pull any shenanigans along the border.

What do North Koreans want more than anything in the world? Why, skinny jeans, of course! Also, poop. Both items are "selling like hotcakes"!

Earlier this month, a train carrying watches, television sets and other luxury items for North Korea's heir apparent Kim Jong-un was derailed in what some speculate was an act of sabotage. No Desperate Housewives in HD for you, Little Kim!