Radio Free Asia this week published a picture of a North Korean poster depicting a sailor punching a warship that reads: "We will smash you with a single blow if you attack!" It was smuggled out by a Chinese businessman.

Big surprise: Amnesty International says North Korean health care "is in shambles," with doctors sometimes performing amputations without anesthesia, working by candlelight in hospitals with no power. So, try not to be in a mandatory-amputation situation in North Korea. [AP]

Voting has closed on the unofficial poll to determine a destination for Canadian song-and-dance-man Justin Bieber's upcoming tour. And North Korea won! But not because the desperate, starving populace voted for him. It was because of the internet. LOL! [Faxo]

The plot to send Canada's kewtie to North Korea is heating up! The online poll (about where Biebs should tour next) now has 500,000 4chan-encouraged votes for the Communist stronghold. A North Korean official has basically said "We'll see."

Justin Bieber's fans are having a vote contest to see what countries he should tour. In second place and gaining momentum: North Korea. Obviously, this is the work of web-prank powerhouse 4chan, which also originated Bieber's recent syphilis rumor.

Despite developing an anti-aging super drink, North Korean leader Kim Jong-il is thinking about succession. The Workers' Party of Korea will hold a selection meeting in September and Kim's youngest son, Kim Jong-un, is thought to be next in line.

North Korea was defeated handily by the Ivory Coast today, 3-0. Having not won a single game, our favorite squad of plucky autocratic regime subjects are returning home. There they'll face hard labor or an outpouring of nationalist appreciation.

Today is the 60th anniversary of the start of the Korean War, so naturally North Korea is stirring things up by imposing a shipping ban in its western waters. The South fears the North could be preparing more missile tests.

North Korea is starving so badly that it had to re-open private markets last week. Now it wants $65 trillion from the United States as compensation for decades of "hostility." Well we have about $4.06 in our pockets... everyone else?

South Korea has detected levels of radiation eight times higher than normal along its border with North Korea, according to reports. North Korea last month said it conducted a nuclear fusion test—a step toward building a hydrogen bomb.

Still trying to figure out who you're supporting in the World Cup? How about North Korea? They might be playing as representatives of a starving hellhole ruled by a brutal, insane dictator. But their coach has an invisible telephone!

[A crazed fan celebrates after Brazil scored a goal during the team's 2-1 victory over North Korea at the World Cup. He was one of thousands who gathered to watch the game on Rio's Copacabana beach today. Image via AP]

The North Korean military has threatened to annihilate the South Korean capital Seoul if they don't turn the damn music down. The South has been blaring music along the border in response to the North's alleged sinking of a warship.

Ambushed in Macau by a South Korean newspaper, Kim Jong-nam, oldest son of Kim Jong-il, when asked about the sinking of the warship Cheonan said, "I do not know. Please stop." He said his father is "doing well." [JoongAng Daily]

The official North Korean news agency KCNA has announced the development of a new drink that is loaded with all-natural "microelements" that can reproduce brain cells and halt skin aging. Added bonus: "The drink has no side-effect."

North Korea has severed its ties with South Korea, likely triggering sanctions from the U.S.

South Korea officially thinks North Korea sank their ship. It's "a return to 'normal' behavior."

Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe was apparently not content with merely sporting a Hitler moustache. He clearly felt his crazy despot credentials were lacking something. Which may be why he sent a boatload of animals to North Korea's Kim Jong Il.

Time Out New York's back cover this week is a glossy, upbeat travel ad for tours in... North Korea. We decided to take a look at eyewitness reports of life inside the country's brutal gulags to provide some context.

Well, at least in his own mind, he is. The North Korean communist newspaper Rodong Sinmun says that Kim's drab track suit, called the Pyongyang, is the newest trend sweeping the globe. Make way on the imaginary runways.