Have pity on a group of California GOP staffers in Ohio who have been vomiting uncontrollably from both ends of their bodies, not because of the plagiarism and open racism at the convention, but because of an apparent outbreak of norovirus.

Chipotle, the beloved fast-casual burrito chain that is now cooking its steak to the consistency of meatballs to ward off more food contamination lawsuits, finds itself in legal hot water once more.

On Sunday, the Carnival Adonia docked back in Miami, ending the first cruise from the United States to Cuba in over 50 years and days of vomit- and diarrhea-soaked Hell for 14 passengers suffering from “stomach-related symptoms.”

Chipotle, the chain Mexican restaurant that proudly boasts a menu of food “with integrity,” and in several instances, “with E. coli,” has a new affliction to fight off: A lawsuit alleging the company defrauded its investors with regard to its food safety, or lack thereof.

A month-long Princess Cruises poop cruise that saw more than 170 people fall ill with norovirus finally docked in Los Angeles Sunday. Not great news for the passengers but pretty good news for the cruise company, which announced plans to hose the boat down and ship out a new group of potential victims the same day.

Is it time that we finally ban cruises? In one solitary week, three cruise ships have had to send CDC investigators on board in order to discover why over 100 people (each!) have come down with vomiting and diarrhea. The first two cases were discovered on the same boat—one week apart.

Just a few weeks after the shit-covered, disabled Carnival Cruise landed in Alabama, the cruise industry was hit with another PR disaster: Last week, a Royal Caribbean cruise ship returned to shore after an 11-day cruise during which over 100 passengers and three crew members fell ill with the norovirus, a gastrointestinal virus that causes vomiting and diarrhea. The virus is usually spread by water contaminated with feces.

The world is not a safe place. You are, we trust, already doing what you can to protect yourself against the regular flu, but while you've been washing your hands until the skin on your knuckles begins to crack, the flu has been busy reinventing itself.

It's hard to believe that only yesterday io9 introduced us to "Vomiting Larry,", the mannequin-like robot designed to vomit on command "not just forcefully, but in an anatomically accurate fashion." In some ways it feels like old Larry's been with us for years, teaching us all how to vomit correctly. But he's not just a novelty vomiting robot; he's here to help scientists stop the spread of the stomach flu:

Good god. Remember that little outbreak of a mysterious intestinal illness at the New York Times that shut down the company cafeteria earlier this month? Well, they've run some tests, and...we don't know how to tell you this...it's... Norovirus. (*Checks Wikipedia.*) Dang that makes you throw up and poop!

Giving every junketeer who might have over-imbibed a good excuse to blow off chores and work once they get home, conference organizers at Sun's JavaOne developer fest at the Moscone Center are now warning attendees that the City has released a public health warning about a virus on the loose.