Remember Susan Seligson, the author of thinky boob treatise Stacked, who said that her 32DDDs "never ceased to render men instantly stupid?" Well, even though we'd questioned Seligson's rackiness, the rendering men stupid thing seems to be true. Evidence? Her book has one of the most glowingly nonsensical blurbs we've ever read, from none other than he-man woman-hater Norman Mailer.
Norman Mailer has been an ancient crotchety windbag for like sixty years now, so it's gotten to the point where you really just have to admire his stamina — not to mention his flair for crafting quasi-Shakespearean, quasi-acid casualty insults. We mentioned earlier that New York Magazine had done a brilliant job of cataloguing his enemies — in anticipation of his new book, for which Michiko Kakutani is apparently already sharpening her samurai sword, they've also listed some of the barbs (literal and figurative) he's hurled at them over the years. To William Styron: "I will invite you to a fight in which I expect to stomp out of you a fat amount of your yellow and treacherous shit." On biographer P.D. Manso: ""P. D. Manso is looking for gold in the desert of his arid inner life, where lies and distortion are the only cactus juice to keep him going." We know you're great at talking smack, so we're going to open up the floodgates and see if anyone wants to try their hand at crafting a Mailerian (whatever) insult. Leave 'em in the comments, or send them to us the way you usually do. Your target can be us, Mailer, Marisha "hedge fund trophy wife hot" Pessl, or whoever. We can't wait to to read a fat amount of your yellow and treacherous shit.
· Norman Mailer: "Updike and Roth and Bellow aren't in the papers all the time. When they are, it's because they're writing about something. If I'm in the papers, it's because Page Six has got me urinating between two cars when a cop goes by." [Page Six]
· The NYT on Suzan Lori Parks' new play, "Fuckin' A": "The title of this play cannot be printed." [Page Six]
· Socialite Georgette Mosbacher is looking for a gas mask for her dog. She says she found one on the Internet in Israel, but she needs someone to "buy one there and bring it back." [Page Six]
· NY Mag's "Intelligencer" columnist Marc Malkin will host the first-ever "Chicago" sing-along at Chelsea Clearview Cinemas on Wednesday. Drag queens will be on hand to "inspire" the audience. [Page Six]
· Men's Health Editor David Zinczenko is featured in an article by Anna David in this month's Playboy in which she refers to him as "Magazine Guy" and details an encounter she had with him that was not sex "according to the Clintonian definition." [NY Daily News]
· Liza Minnelli and David Gest's anniversary party was nearly cancelled because Gest wanted to book the Regent Wall Street hotel for next to nothing. [Page Six]
· Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick say they're not sending their son to an uptown private school because "In some parts of New York, you get a really narrow slice of life, and they turn out like Little Lord Fauntleroys. We wouldn't send him to a school like that." [Page Six]
· Antonio Banderas tells wife Melanie Griffith "no more cosmetic surgery." [Cindy Adams]
· When real estate queen Barbara Corcoran was still a waitress, she complained to her mother that "the ones with the big breasts were the ones getting the big tips." Her mother responded, "So, in the absence of big breasts, wear pigtails and put ribbons on them." It worked. [Cindy Adams]
· Norman Mailer (unsurprisingly) snapped at his audience at Barnes & Noble on Tuesday; Tina Brown's party for Arianna Huffington ended with Princeton professor Sean Wilentz falling asleep in Tina and Harry's bed which Tina says "hasn't happened since [she] was an undergraduate"; and rumors are still circulating that Billy Joel was drinking before his car accident last weekend. [NY Daily News]
