Think the newly embiggened Jessica Simpson has it rough? That's nothing compared to the poor fat children victimized by the Nintendo cruelty machine Wii Fit, opines hysterical View hostess Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
Stupid yet clever enough for Monday-afternoon viewing is this Nintendo Wii ad on YouTube that shakes apart the whole page during gameplay. Drill into it and you'll find it's not a standard YouTube video page, but an oversized Flash animation. Well done! But if the Wall Street Journal's Ahead of the Tape page does this tomorrow, I'm unsubscribing.
Damn it feels good to be a gamer: The Financial Times has calculated that Nintendo will make $1.6 million per employee in 2008. That beats Goldman Sach's 2007 record — impressive when you consider Goldman's average salary was $660,000 per year, versus only $90,900 for Nintendo. (Photo by Geek on Stun)
A relentless neophilia is Silicon Valley's signature characteristic. One must have a new iPhone, a new Twitter, a new electric car. You're either in beta or in the grave. That's why I'm intrigued by two decisions by Dell and Sony. Dell has figured out a way to wriggle around Microsoft's licensing rules and still sell its discontinued Windows XP operating system. Sony, meanwhile, is profitably selling its nine-year-old PlayStation 2 videogame console in markets like India. This just isn't done.
"I forgot to mention something important earlier: I don't think Wii Fit's purpose is to make you fit." Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto, on the origins of Wii Fit. Too bad it's already sold 1.2 million in Japan based on the notion that it does. The non-exercise videogame is out in the U.S. later this year. [Wii.com]
In Japan, Microsoft has dropped the price of its entry-level Xbox 360 to around $260 — less than it costs in America. The software giant hopes to gain some traction in the tough Japanese market. Microsoft has had tremendous difficulties selling the Xbox in Japan, moving only 257,800 consoles last year, compared to Sony's 1.2 million PlayStation 3s and 3.6 million Nintendo Wiis. Somehow, we suspect just dropping the price won't get the job done.
Little Jimmy's at the tree extracting an oblong box from the stash. Ripping off the paper, his jaw drops in astonishment. It's no Wii; it's a raincheck. His parents didn't quite purchase a Nintendo Wii, you see. Little Jimmy can't exchange the slip of paper until the red-hot videogame consoles are in stock again, supposedly sometime in January. Yes, even a full year after launch, retailers can't keep Wiis on shelves. Analysts estimate Nintendo has lost $1 billion in sales this holiday because of the shortage. So while Nintendo USA topper Reggie Fils-Aimé says the raincheck program is a way for parents to put a Wii under the tree, we doubt Little Jimmy will be fooled. Wall Street analysts, on the other hands, may well be.
sparkly-crap mobile circuit-board garbage gizmo mass-produced by machines that stole jobs from nonunionized workers who stole jobs from the natives. I want a Nintendo Wii.
biosphere-destroying violent imagery consumer electronics death monster truly represents the future of technology Wii DJ Bluetooth just another thing with built-in obsolescence consigning it to an unknowable half-life as indigestible silicon shards. It sucks when great future innovations are doomed to become garbage. Donating to cool charities and supporting local artists is something you should be doing all year. capitalist juggernaut. Annalee Newitz is a surly media nerd.
Nintendo has finally opened the doors to its convenient "San Francisco" location — where former Yahoo chief marketer Cammie Dunaway ran off to be "the coolest mom in the universe." Turns out the new PR and marketing HQ is actually on Bridge Parkway in Redwood City, which is 26 miles from San Francisco — about as close as Paterson, New Jersey is to New York City. With the Wii still printing money, you'd think Nintendo would at least be able to spree for a vacant SoMa warehouse. The location, however, is better suited to keep an eye on nearby industry titans Electronic Arts and Sony. After the jump, the commute from San Francisco to "San Francisco."
Greenpeace has found a couple of new targets in its latest "Guide to Greener Electronics": Microsoft and Nintendo. Particularly Nintendo, which scored the first perfect zero rating. The environmentalist group, once remembered for facing down fisherman armed with machine guns with rubber dinghies and rainbow flags to save the lives of endangered whales, has been hanging on to its diminishing relevance by attacking Apple for more than a year. The manufactured notoriety has backfired. Steve Jobs tore apart Greenpeace's charges in an open letter. Critics have savaged the organization's Electronics Guides as arbitrary and unscientific. So how is Greenpeace to remain relevant?
Last week we speculated that ex-Yahoo chief marketer Cammie Dunaway was heading over to Nintendo to fill the gaping hole in its marketing department. Turns out we were right: She is the videogame-console maker's new VP of sales and marketing. Along with inheriting the title of "coolest mom in the universe," she's also snagged what has to be the easiest marketing job, ever. The Nintendo Wii is perhaps the most widely coveted electronic gizmo — still impossible to obtain and well on its way to driving its operating profit to $3.7 billion for the year. Honestly, the thing practically sells itself. No wonder she ditched Yahoo for this job.
Could soon-to-be departed Yahoo chief marketer Cammie Dunaway be on her way to Nintendo of America? That's what one tipster suggests. And it makes sense. Cammie describes her new home as "a natural fit for someone who loves driving profitable revenue for big, well-loved consumer brands and can't pass up the opportunity to be the coolest Mom in the universe." Well it just so happens that Nintendo has a big gaping void left by the departure of senior VP of marketing George Harrison, VP of marketing Perrin Kaplan and public relations director Beth Llewelyn due to the company moving its marketing and PR operations to San Francisco. Whose kids wouldn't be happy to have their mom hawking the Wii? No doubt she'd be happy to stretch her creative wings selling a product people actually like. Kotaku, the videogames blog, can't squeeze a confirmation out of Nintendo. Does anyone have an inside line?
Nintendo of America president Reggie Fils-Aimé is named marketer of the year by Brandweek magazine for his work pimping the Wii to consumers — it's still difficult to find the console on store shelves. Of course, the perpetual fun machine that is the Wii was an easy sell — so how much credit does he really deserve? [Brandweek]
NICK DOUGLAS — As fantastic as the baton-controlled Nintendo Wii may be (I found it's most fun after White Russians and a tequila shot), it seems like the only game anyone plays is Wii Sports. So what other games would I like to see? Click the thumbs to see the gallery. Props for the "let's Photoshop the covers" idea to Mike Monteiro.
ConFonz, a favorite Valleywag roving correspondent, reports again from E3 — this time, I suspect, from the hotel bar. It's okay, it was Thursday night and everyone was drunk. But just for fun, Valleywag won't proofread this edition of ConFonz.
