Upcoming autopsy results will say that Kung Fu actor David Carradine did in fact die from autoerotic asphyxiation, the New York Post reports. Not surprising, given his proclivities. But this judgment does not necessarily rule out death by ninja.

On Sunday the New York Post ran an article in which attorney Mark Geragos suggested that David Carradine was murdered by "groups working in the martial-arts underworld" and "secret societies of martial artists." We know what that's code for! Ninjas! Reports the Post:

Facebook holds an annual Games Day intramural event for its employees and, just like gangs in Oakland, the teams identify themselves by their colors. Yesterday, a tipster spotted Facebook's red team sitting around on the streets of Palo Alto, visible for all to see. Facebook's white team is much sneakier. For example, the entire team is at this very moment standing right behind you. Take a look. Gone already? Don't be embarrassed. These guys — Babak Hamadani, Blaise DiPersia, Dale Dwelle, Navid Mansourian, Pedram Keyani and Ryan McGeehan — move fast. Just ask the Facebook engineer at the end this clip, Chris Putnam.

Riddle us this: if it it's so ludicrous to believe that a mysterious black-clad stranger killed punk rock pioneer and realtor to the stars Linda Stein ("NUTTY 'NINJA' ALIBI" screams the Post) than should we conclude that personal assistant and lead suspect Natavia Lowery has also been breaking into homes on Staten Island? When is it ok to blame a ninja? We need answers! [NYP]

"Staten Island ninja thief flees after homeowner stabs him" [NYDN]