In the middle of the European Renaissance, these fantastic skeleton gods were being constructed in the bowels of Europe's Catholic churches. Los Angeles art historian and photographer Paul Koudounaris found these secret saints in catacombs and storage bins across the old Holy Roman Empire.

Anthony Nicolas Orban already killed himself in jail, but the justice system isn't done with the evil California cop who abducted a diner waitress at gunpoint and raped her behind a storage shed in a seedy Inland Empire town.

Monstrous "crazy ants" from Argentina and Brazil have invaded Texas and the American Southeast, driving out the already awful fire ant and making life even more miserable for those living in the South.

A man attacked by a rabid bat in the Mojave National Preserve will probably die if not found and treated by health officials. Eyewitnesses say the bat landed on the mystery man's neck outside the desert park's book store at the Kelso Depot between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. The man wandered off, oblivious, and the bat fell dead from rabies.

As though shit-encrusted cruise ships weren't enough: a Greyhound bus traveling from Atlantic City to New York was forced to evacuate because of a roach infestation:

Two men whose parents did not raise them well have been arrested in Utah after allegedly setting up potentially deadly homemade booby traps to ensnare travelers along a popular hiking trail.

Behold the deeply, deeply unsettling (and NSFW) stop-motion videography of artist Monica Cook (NO RELATION AT ALL WHATSOEVER), featuring animatronic-looking sweaty weirdos giving birth to horrible misshapen babies with outsized genitalia and then turning into werewolves. The video is from March; Cook has a new show at Postmasters Art Gallery in New York featuring, in the words of Animal NY's Marina Galperina, "humanoid, cave-dwelling monkeys, loving in efflorescent goo, conceiving, birthing, mothering, and dying… all while you can see their insides working through their transparent, ripping skin. It's all shiny fluid and dripping flesh, sequins, pipes, teeth and peeled glittered bones." It's also "very touching," she says. Sweet dreams.

Anders Behring Breivik — the man who last July hunted down and killed 69 teenagers on the Norwegian island of Utoya just hours after he set off a car bomb in Oslo that killed eight — has been declared "psychotic" during the attacks by two forensic psychiatrists.

A soldier tries to sleep. But he is not safe in his dreams. Jolted awake by a nightmare, the combat veteran fumbles in the dark for his 3-D glasses. He puts them on. Around him are the faces of people whom he trusts. They fight the darkness with him. The soldier's re-lived this scene in his head and the laboratory over and over again, until it has become reassuringly familiar. The soldier knows that his pixelated friends will take him away from these troubled dreams. When the scene is over, he takes off his goggles and looks around him. The soldier is home.

So this is how it is, then? Phillip Seaton (pictured)—an innocent man who went in for a routine adult circumcision and awoke to find that a ding dong doc had dinged his ding dong till it was clean gone—has been awarded not one red cent by a jury of his peers. (A "six-man, six-woman jury," his peers? Are they, really? Are they? Penis peers? Are they?)

In the same week that a Mets game was put on hold while center fielder Angel Pagan attended to a sudden and violent onslaught of loose stools, comes yet another unusual, game-disrupting incident in a Major League outfield: Cardinals left fielder Matt Holliday had to withdraw from Monday night's game because a moth flew into his ear.

Phillip Seaton, the unlucky ducky whose bratwurst went bye-bye after his chopper doctor turned pecker wrecker, is finally having his day in court. Tell us, "Dr." John Patterson (pictured grinning with his high-priced attorney; do you find something funny, sir?), how did a simple circumcision become a member dismembering, leaving Phillip Seaton to wake up wangless without even a chance to bid tally-ho to his tallywhacker?

In 2007, Phillip Seaton, a middle-aged man in Kentucky, went to the doctor to be circumcised, to help "treat inflammation," TWSS. You'll never guess what happened next.

Two construction workers renovating a hotel on Staten Island got on the elevator yesterday morning. The door, they found, was stuck. The men began pressing buttons for every floor, trying to find one that would work. Eventually, they ended up in the basement. From the NYT:

Warning: The above video is a graphic squid snuff film. It made me scream out loud.

Now that a horrifying trail of destruction — wrecked apartments, scammed renters, terrible service — has caught up with Airbnb, the once hot vacation listings website is apologizing and making all kids of promises to change. Don't listen.

The Airbnb customer whose home was destroyed by a stranger who'd used the service to rent her apartment says a co-founder of the company tried to convince her to delete her blog post about her nightmare because of the "negative impact it could have on his company's growth and current round of funding." So considerate.

A San Franciscan has posted a harrowing tale of a fraudulent Airbnb renter completely violating her apartment, identity, garments, momentos and other valuables. She no longer feels comfortable in her own home or clothes. And she says Airbnb should have done more to protect her.

A South African man spent about 24 hours in a morgue this weekend. Not, like, hanging out! No, as a dead body.

Having already brought you horrifying true stories of fried rats and poop and murder, we return today with our third and final installment of Kitchen Nightmares: Do not read while eating! Really, don't. Seriously.