Far-right presidential candidate Rick Perry dined with self-appointed "godfather of politics" Donald Trump last night. What did they do afterwards? Partied with pageant queens, Kardashians, and Kathie Lee Gifford at the Sheri Hill fashion show in the Trump Tower. Update: Page Six reports that Perry "made a beeline backstage" to hang out with the models, including Kathie Lee's daughter Cassidy.

Normal Bob Smith is the Margaret Mead of Union Square Park. He is an artist who lives in Bushwick and comes to the park everyday to document the vagrants, drifters, street preachers, and free-hug-givers who hang out there. In the process, he has put together an extraordinarily extensive guide to the Square's peeping toms, upon whom he meta-peeps while they are ogling innocent ladies' panties. Above, an old guy pretends to be a confused tourist preoccupied with his phone, while wandering the park with a video-enabled camera held at crotch level.

Like the butterflies returning to Mexico before they die, so are the models, editors, and other fabulous hangers on flocking to Lincoln Center and its environs for the start of Fashion Week. What did you miss if you didn't make it to the tents today? Let's have a look.

Things are, by every measure, looking terrible for Democrats in New York's 9th district, where voters will decide on Anthony Weiner's replacement this Tuesday. Despite the seat's 3:1 ratio of Democrats to Republicans, David Weprin trails GOP nominee Bob Turner 50-44 in the latest poll from Siena University. But the reasons why may not be what you think.

Last night was the third annual Fashion's Night Out, Anna Wintour's fake charity. We must acknowledge that this is now a global thing that happens, and will continue to happen, once every year, like some sort of culling of the herd. Here are all the celebrities, parties, and ridiculous fashions that you missed by not attending.

As if the throngs of screaming crowds weren't already bad enough in Times Square for New Year's Eve, it was announced today that Lady Gaga will perform at the annual event. Now it's just going to throngs of screeching teenage girls and homosexuals howling into the cold winter air for their idol. That's the last thing the city needs. And she's going to find a way to actually wear the dropping ball, isn't she?

Hey, look at that, the Hudson River is running red. According to so-called scientists, this is just red clay from upstate that was washed into the river by Hurricane Irene. Or demon blood. Could definitely be demon blood.

A late Monday night shooting in Brooklyn left three people dead and two cops wounded, bringing the total number of New York shooting victims to 48 this weekend, with at least 10 killed.

Some 31 people were shot in New York City between early Saturday and early Monday, including eight at a single house party—part of a 24-hour run of 24 shooting victims. So far, only one person has died. [NYP]

Everyone loves people watching, and there aren't many better places to do so than in a New York City subway station. But what if you could witness all the action anonymously from beyond the public access points? As this short film by Sean Vegezzi shows, it's what we'd imagine a voyeur's slightly creepy dream to look like. [via Doobybrain]

HBO finally bought so many ads on the New York City transit system that MTA let them buy an entire car. Coming soon to a 2/3 track near you: A vintage subway car from 1917, with rattan seats, a ceiling fan, and ads for Boardwalk Empire. If you end up on this car you will probably enjoy it a little, but will have to pretend you don't, because you're sick of this mind control ad immersion bullshit, and don't want to be associated with the Instagram obsessives tweeting twee pictures of it. But secretly? Old-timey transit is fun. Admit it, you want to ride in this car.

If the second-most powerful official in New York City government spends two days in jail for assaulting his wife, is that something the Bloomberg administration thinks people ought to know about? Nope.

Remember the Great Columbia University Frat Boy Drug Bust of 2010? Frat boy cocaine kingpin Harrison David is heading to Rikers Island: He turned himself in today to serve six months in jail, followed by five years of probation. With good behavior and time served (his plastic surgeon father refused to bail him out for two weeks after the arrest) the 20-year-old will likely serve three and a half months.

As the East Coast continues to clean up after the colossal let down of "Hurricane" Irene, at least there is one good thing that came out of the the days of food-hoarding, transit shutdowns, and watching Soapdish on Netflix Streaming (OK, Soapdish was a very good thing). Here's a great video of the wet and desolate city during the storm.

Behold the sight of this poor Irene victim, whose bloated, furry body was spotted by this blogger on the sands of Long Beach, New York. What do you think it is? Don't say it's a "Montauk monster," because that guy was irreplaceable.

How does a lawyer describe, in a lawsuit, an incident where a New York sculptor allegedly tossed some shit onto the neighboring terrace of a $20 million art gallery over a 4.8 inch property dispute? Like this, actually:

If you don't live in New York City, you might be wondering what the place might look like and/or how it might change while being pummeled by a raging monster-cane. Thanks to a live-cam, you can find out ever so conveniently!

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says he's received reports that a 2.9 magnitude earthquake struck today "just west-southwest" of Altamont, up near Albany. Goodness, what will befall us next? Locusts, probably. And volcanoes. Then a collapse into the ocean.

As New York City braces for Irene's wrath, we remember one of the only recorded hurricanes to touch directly over modern Manhattan.

Remember how close former New York Gov. George Pataki was to entering the presidential race earlier this week? Finally, a real candidate! But alas, he announced today that he will not run after all. Ugh. This cannot be happening.