Former New York Post dating columnist Mandy Stadtmiller flew out to Nevada to spend a couple hours with "Markus," America's first legal male prostitute, for journalism. What a job! Free travel, free massage, and a free gynecological exam.

Haiti? Old. The deficit? Boring. America's most important news story today: The fat Jets coach flipped the bird to the camera. Could this be the most inane New York Post cover of the decade thus far? It does have competition.

Overlord Nick Denton was so tickled to learn that CNN anchor and well-known gay guy Anderson Cooper's buying an old Greenwich Village firehouse that he left the info in comments back in October. Now the New York Post knows, too.

• How many people have signed up for Newsday.com since the newspaper put up a pay wall three months ago? A grand total of 35, believe it or not. [NYO]
• Following in Oprah's footsteps, Martha Stewart announced she's moving her syndicated TV show to cable (the Hallmark Channel) next fall. [Reuters, WSJ]
• NBC honcho Jeff Gaspin says he "underestimated the level of emotion" that would follow the decision to change up NBC's late-night schedule. Fortunately, the Olympics are here, which he says will be "a cleansing moment." [NYT, AP]
• Ratings are up at Fox News: The network was ranked No. 1 in primetime cable last week. Strangely, Fox News was also ranked "the most trusted name in news," according to a national survey released today. Seriously. [NYT, PD]
• There's lots of anxiety in the air over at CNN, not surprisingly. [Politico]
• Yet another Post staffer is suing the paper for discrimination. [Gawker]
• Roger Hodge, the editor of Harper's, has been let go. [NYT]
• More than 83 million people tuned in on Friday for the Haiti telethon. [LAT]
• Who's going to replace Simon Cowell on AI? Possibly one of these guys. [NYM]
• Nancy Grace loves cameras in courtrooms. Except when she's the one doing the testifying, in which case they can cause "embarrassment." [AP]

The plaintiffs smell blood now. The New York Post—already the subject of multiple lawsuits claiming racist discrimination—is now being sued for sexism and ageism. Also, one Post editor allegedly has his own "harem" of hot sexxxy underlings.

After an unbearably long break (five days!), Andrea Peyser is back to journalism! Peyser on America's job woes: "We all should be celebrity sloths like Paris Hilton. Or one of Tiger's well-paid bimbos." Well, she's still a little rusty. [NYP]

• The cover of Vanity Fair's February issue will likely turn plenty of heads: It features a barechested Tiger Woods pumping iron. The photo by Annie Leibovitz was taken before the Woods sex scandal unfolded, however. [VF]
• Is New York Post editor Col Allan retiring? That's the rumor, although Allan says it's just "wishful thinking" on the part of the Daily News. [NYM, Politico]
• Cable spats: Fox and Time Warner reached a deal in their dispute on Friday. But Cablevision customers are still without the Food Network and HGTV.
• Dick Clark has clearly seen better days, but ABC's NYE telecast was No. 1 on Thursday night. NBC's Carson Daly-hosted program came in No. 2. [Variety]
• Disgraced ex-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich will be one of the "stars" on the next season of Celebrity Apprentice, you'll be thrilled to hear. [UPI]
• Ten years after he presided over the merger of Time Warner and AOL, Jerry Levin now says it was all a big mistake and he's really, really sorry. [THR]
• Good news! The ad market for newspapers, magazines is looking up. [WSJ]
• Arianna Huffington and Glamour's Cindi Leive plan to sleep a lot in '10. [HP]
• Avatar was once again No. 1 at the box office this weekend. The film has now grossed more than $1 billion around the world since it was released. [THR]

If New York Post editor Col Allan is indeed contemplating "retirement" at the ripe old age of 57, as New York's Gabriel Sherman reports, his departure would cap off a decade of colossal editorial and business embarrassments for the paper.

Gabriel Sherman is tweeting that New York Post editor Col Allan is "considering retirement," according to NYP sources. What might this mean for the Post's lovable "angry drunk" journalism style? If you know more, email us. UPDATE: Col Allan responds:

It was a miserable, terrible year full of death and loss. Here are a few of the things we will miss, and the things that we wish had died in their place. Please offer your own suggestions in comments.

Jasper Schuringa probably didn't think twice before dismantling Northwest Airlines Flight 253's would-be bomber. But before telling his story, he wanted money, and he got it. From major news outlets who pay up and lie about it. Here's the proof:

Writes the tipster who spotted the typo currently on NYPost.com: "If only 'Michael Jackson' were easy to spell, like 'Tiger Woods.'" Which is funny, except practically no one is working in media today, including here — expect light posting.

The NY Daily News was shocked that its competitor would stoop to having Spitzer hooker Ashley Dupre as an advice columnist. But Cityfile points out the Daily News itself is cozy with Spitzer madam Kristin Davis. Madams are classier, though.

• The e-reader war rages on: If you want to read the Post on your Kindle on the way to work, you're out of luck; you'll have to buy a Sony Reader. [NYT, AFP]
• Project Runway will return to NYC (and Lifetime) for its 7th season. [NYDN]
• Budget Travel isn't shutting down, contrary to the rumors awhile back. But it does have a new owner now that Newsweek has sold it to a financial firm. [AP]
• Job cuts at the Times in the last two days have claimed 18 people. [AP]
• American Idol creator Simon Fuller is launching an online talent show. [NYT]
• Diane Sawyer's GMA debut next week is going to be "low-key." [USAT]
• It looks like Fox News will close out 2009 with its highest ratings ever. [B&C]
• Ashton Kutcher is bringing The Beautiful Life back. On YouTube. [NYT]
• The 16th annual SAG Award nominations were announced today. [LAT]
• Nancy O'Dell is quitting Access Hollywood. Why? Because the show is getting too sensational and she's a "nice and classy girl." But you knew that. [People]

Queens gym teacher Brad Ferro is so sorry sorry he punched Jersey Shore's Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi in the face on camera and we should forgive him. Why? Because he was so drunk he doesn't remember doing it! Classy.

On Tuesday, the New York Daily News took the New York Post to task over its new "sex, love and relationship" columnist Ashley Dupre, calling the ex-hooker's advice "useless" and bemoaning the fact Post editors have insisted on giving Dupre a "16th minute of fame." But the Daily News is a friend to publicity-seeking former sex workers, too! Look no further than Kristin Davis, the madam who claims she provided escorts to former Gov. Eliot Spitzer. Over the past 11 months, the News has mentioned Davis in no fewer than 16 articles, many of which link to her website and plug her self-published paperback book. (Just yesterday, she earned a mention when the Daily News' Gatecrasher column interviewed Davis about her plans to run against Spitzer for state comptroller in the event he decides to run himself.) It's almost like the paper has Davis on speed dial, doesn't it?

Not surprisingly, the Daily News isn't all that impressed with the New York Post's newest columnist, ex-hooker—and now singer and crisis management expert—Ashley Dupre. After dismissing the column as "useless," Joanna Molloy shares a few (great!) ideas on what the Post could cook up as an encore: "Bernie Madoff could write a what-not-to-do with your money column; we could get travel tips from Salvatore (Sammy Bull) Gravano; Sen. Larry Craig could advise on how to meet new people; Mel Gibson could give lessons on tolerance and Lindsay Lohan, on sobriety." [NYDN]

That darned New York Post—they are immoral! They had an advice column by Ashley Dupre—who had sex, for money, which is illegal! The Daily News just cannot remain quiet any longer! It has to stand up, here!

• Remember last week when Lindsay Lohan announced that she'd "saved" a bunch of kids in India from becoming victims of child trafficking? Yea, well, it seems she wasn't even in the country yet when that happened, at least according to according to a leading social activist in New Delhi, who has since filed a complaint with the BBC, which was filming Lohan's efforts for a documentary. In any event, LiLo must be totally, like, spent from saving the world: She returned to the U.S over the weekend after spending less than a week there. [Telegraph, People]
• In other LiLo news, the Lohan family website is now selling some of her secondhand clothes. If you'd like to buy Lindsay's hideous wardrobe from back in her Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen days, you're in luck. [P6]
• The New York Post has added an esteemed new columnist to its roster! Ashley Dupre is the paper's new love, sex, and relationship columnist. In her first column, Dupre answers questions about a rebellious teen, how to tell if one's husband is unhappy, whether or not to share your "number," and also offers up some Christmas gift ideas. There's even a video to go with it in which Dupre is dressed up like a naughty schoolgirl. [NYP]

Yes, folks, that is Alexandra Ashley Dupre. That Alexandra Ashley Dupre. Writing for that New York Post. Fill in the lede: