No doubt you've heard about Jay Valentine, the New York homeless man who unbelievably isn't a thief or a drug addict! He returned a lady's credit card after she loaned it to him. Now he's getting job offers.

Yesterday we told you about our undercover Muslim president hosting a Ramadan iftar. Well, he also threw his support behind the spooky Ground Zero mosque. Thankfully we have the cover of the New York Post to keep patriotic Americans informed.

Ute Linhart (pictured) was waiting in the 28th street R train station platform Wednesday night when a crazy man pushed her into the path of an oncoming train. She suffered serious injuries, but survived. Is this good PR, or what?

A young woman of higher class recently lent her American Express credit card ("Don't leave homeless without it") to a beggar and, miraculously, he returned it to her after making his requested purchases. This is an amazing story.

The New York Post on "erecting a gay bar" near the Ground Zero Islamic center: "Good luck finding 72 virgins in this joint."

A shark was spotted at Rockaway Beach yesterday, and the Post really went for it: A "finned fiend" emerged at "Shark-away Beach" and "took a bite out of a beautiful morning" — the third sighting of "toothy terrors" this summer!

In your wicked Thursday media column: Time gets graphic, the New York Post doesn't know how to apologize, reporters kidnapped in Mexico, even more sex-related troubles for Sumner Redstone, and a PR service is advertising with Fox News' reputation.

The Post today warns readers of "a shocking new study" by the American Cancer Society that says women who sit for more than six hours a day have a 37 percent greater chance of dying early, even if they exercise!

We all love office pranks. Who doesn't like to scare their co-workers into fearing for their livelihoods? But we've never seen anything like this. We present to you: The Greatest Rupert Murdoch Prank of All Time

"They're not all a bunch of lawless renegades." A-rab working class people, that is! The NY Post comes to this generous conclusion after three pedicab drivers—including two Muslim types—foiled a robbery. However! Muslims still threaten America—from space.

When Richard Beckman took over the Hollywood Reporter, he promised to turn the trade rag around. One of his most dramatic moves to date: attempting to lure Page Six editor Richard Johnson to LA with a million dollar pay package.

50-year-old Michoel Streicher, a singer who calls himself "The Michael Jackson of Jewish music" was sentenced yesterday to a year in jail for swindling a woman out of $36,000 he said he would use to buy a torah.

Andrea Peyser is but a simple tabloid sex columnist. But she knows one thing: well, she doesn't know what she "knows," because that would be an epistemological question (epistemology=bad). But she's against filling kids' minds with trash like "thoughts."

Star investigative reporter Murray Weiss is just the latest journalist leaving the New York Post.

A serious staff exodus is underway at the New York Post. The paper has lost several big names already this year. Now, several more (including Neel Shah) are leaving. Col Allan's management skills are perhaps not the best?

The diversity-embracing New York Post posted a story this morning about the arrest of a suspect in connection with a Central Park sex attack last week. Already, the Post's peerless commenters have unearthed three separate deplorable angles.

NY Post intern James Cahalan hit the jackpot: For an exposé on underage drinking, his employer sent him on a 30-stop bar crawl to see who would serve him. Byline and free booze—do summer internships get any better?

Justin Bieber's cultural footprint is so big that it covers an entire category of lesbian. Now, if you are that kind of a lesbian, it is because you like Justin Bieber: You're a "Biebian." So says The New York Post!

New York Post media man Keith Kelly crunches the numbers for the American version of British tabloid OK!. It's lost $175.7 million in four years of existence. That's $787,000 an issue. Even the ! in the title is sad.

The paperback edition of Paula Froelich's bestselling novel Mercury in Retrograde came out this week. She's celebrating by hanging out in the comments section of this post and suffering the indignity of answering your questions. Ask her anything!