We learned yesterday from the Post's Mandy Stadtmiller that the air of Graydon Carter's salon-cum-potpie trough is so rarefied that even a bona fide C+-lister like Jimmy Fallon gets seated in "Siberia." But today, a tipster writes with some helpful hints about how to scam your way around the Inn's elitist reservation policies. We're going to pass these suggestions on to you, but obviously, you should probably take them with a large grain of artisanal sel gris. And a truffle shaving or two.

Yesterday, Peter Berdovsky [right] and Sean Stevens, who were arrested for installing some of the controversially bomb-esque lite brite boxes promoting Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force, held a press conference. However, they refused to answer questions on any topic besides their hair.

Today, the Post reports on the scandal that's been rocking the foundations over in San Franscisco: a twelve-steppin' former appointments secretary to mayor Gavin Newsom — who also happens to be married to Newsom's campaign manager — got to the step where you have to admit your wrongdoings and confessed that she and Newsom had had an affair in 2005, around the time when Newsom and former SF prosecutor/ current NY socialite/Fox News Channel host Kimberly Guilfoyle were divorcing. And, as the Post reports, "Guilfoyle has since remarried, tying the knot last Memorial Day to Eric Villency, the heir to the Maurice Villency furniture fortune." Well, thank heavens things worked out for poor jilted Kimberly, right? Uh huh. Except there's just this one little detail that the Posties aren't mentioning about their fellow News Corp employee . . .

In an article today about the Cartoon Network promotional stunt turned bomb scare in Boston, the Post displayed the factual inaccuracy and lack of imagination that characterizes much of the tabloid's reporting. In describing the audience of the cartoon show the supposed 'bombs' (actually magnetic lightboxes) were meant to be promoting, the stunningly erroneous article had this to say:

Sweet baby James played at Spitzer's inauguration on New Year's Day, boosting Spitzer's uber-boomer image. But today, Eliot Spitzer learned that loving James Taylor can be a double-edged sword. According to the Post, he blew up at Assembly Minority Leader James Tedisco on the phone last week, reportedly yelling, "Listen, I'm a f - - - ing steamroller, and I'll roll over you and anybody else."

Graydon Carter loves to talk about the rage that stoked his and Kurt Anderson's satire-fires, back in the heady halcyon Funny Years. But he's since mellowed, he claims. Well, or something.

Taking 'Drea to task for employing hyperbole is, of course, like spanking a fish for swimming. That being said, though, we were a little taken aback when we came to this line in today's column (a celebration of Kevin Federline's parental skills):

A popular sports figure is also popular with the ladies.



The man is currently linked to a movie star.

Today, the Post's nutty grandma takes another stab at one-upping the Onion's Jackie Harvey:

Deborah Orin-Eilbeck, who spent the last eighteen years as the Post's Washington correspondent, has passed away due to complications from cancer. While we can't pretend to have been entranced by every line she wrote, she was a decent (and by Post standards, balanced) reporter who never forgot that she was writing about politics for Post readers: She tailored her analysis to fit that demographic, which is indeed a difficult skill to master. Her paper gives a fairly nice summary of her career; we hope her successor understands the size of the shoes which he or she is filling. Rest in peace, Deborah.

• Why you can never, ever trust anyone to tell you the truth about bedbugs. Or the truth in general, come to think of it. [eefers]
  

• Maria Bartiromo: too palsy with her subjects. [NYT]
  

This morning, Page Six took on the "hometown hypocrites" over at rival tab the Daily News. To wit:

As the Daily Transom reported yesterday, disgraced former Page Sixer Jared Paul Stern has been exonerated. Wait, is exonerated the right word? We think we're actually looking for something more along the lines of "not not exonerated" — the federal case against the accused Burkle-blackmailer is being dropped due to lack of evidence. Anyway, today the Observer has more on how Stern is planning to turn the tables on Burkle and sue him for defamation, libel, and slander, which means that we're going to need some more photos of Stern in funny hats and pink polo shirts, stat. So what does his former employer have to say about all this?

From the Daily Transom:

• Remeber The Politico, that Allbritton politics website thing that hired away pretty much every decent political print reporter? It's live. [The Politico]
  

We have to admit, we've often found ourselves guilty of harboring less than charitable feelings towards the group of bums who loiter drunkenly on the corner of our block all day and night, occasionally interrupting their nonstop revelry to have teary fights, vom, and whip out their mottled, chicken sausage-ish wieners and pee. But it's never crossed our mind to litigate. Then again, we don't own a Madison Avenue antiques boutique. And also, we're not the world's biggest asshole. Not so Karl Kemp, who is suing the four unfortunates who huddle outside his pricey shop for one million dollars (in quarters, one assumes). Kemp isn't just motivated by pure avarice, though: he actually has the greater good in mind.

There's a piece in today's Post promoting a sex survey to be published jointly this month by Esquire and Marie Claire (and what a meeting of the minds that must have been). The less-than-stunning study on The Way We Fuck Now is pretty standard fare: Men like to have it from behind, women are attracted to "kindness," everyone likes 'Net porn, etc. What's more interesting to us is the Post's bizarre house style on when it uses air quotes: "Do it" and "doing it" get the treatment, while doggy-style and missionary (which Postie Dan Mangan apparently finds to be "plain vanilla") are unencumbered by the punctuation. We can't quite get our "head" around it.

Zut alors! Today's Post article about a table of French expats who were delivered a bill with an 18% gratuity automatically tacked on at Aquagrill — and were then told that the surcharge was "because you're foreign, and foreigners don't tip" — actually showed something that, for the Post, passes for restraint. In fact, the whole article contained only deux incidences of Pepe Le Pew-ish fran ais. C'est dommage! Check it out:

If, like us, you run to the newsstand each Wednesday to get the new issue of Us Weekly, you'll have opened your copy today and noted the above correction. A tipster offers some backstory: