Less than a week after Pokémon Go’s launch, our streets are already filled with packs of phone-wielding, Weedle-catching zombies. They’re robbing our teens, filling our churches with sinners, and tricking our children into exercising. But worst of all, Pokémon Go is turning us all into an army of narcs in service of the coming New World Order.
If there’s one thing noted Facebook user Sarah Palin hates, it’s logic. If there are two things Sarah Palin hates, though, the second is almost definitely the Democrats’ secret apocalyptic globalist agenda. Which is why Sarah Palin would like to take a moment to congratulate all those Brits who voted to leave the EU and effectively cripple their country. You really showed the Illuminati this time.
The woman who threw a shoe at Hillary Clinton last week is apparently a conspiracy theorist who believes Aurora, Colorado mass-shooter James Holmes was duped by "a group of cabal evil worldwide crooks who want to control the world through false flag attacks akin to George Orwell 1984." She adds, "I look like g.i. jane."
That faint rumble you heard on Friday afternoon was the sound of a thousand gleeful conspiracy-theorists firing up their webcams (and bobbing excitedly in their desk chairs like a kid at a toy store) as Vice President Joe Biden used the term "New World Order" when describing trade laws at the Export-Import Bank Conference in Washington.
The head of firearms training company who took to YouTube and Facebook this week to threaten a murderous response to any attempt on the Obama administration's part to "ban assault rifles and impose stricter gun control" has had his handgun carry permit suspended by the Tennessee Department of Safety and Homeland Security for presenting "material likelihood of risk of harm to the public."
It's November 7th, 2012, and a re-elected Barack Obama has just handed over the sovereignty of the United States to the United Nations, sparking a civil war.
The Way We Live Now: Under the thumb of the papacy. The Pope is calling for some super-Illuminati to rule the world economy. No need, dude; we had one already, called Ikea. And it's laying people off.
