• Former president George W. Bush has signed a deal with Crown to publish a memoir. Rumor has it he landed a $7 million advance for the book. [AP, NYP]
• For his part, Barack Obama has two books in the works with Crown. He plans to release an abridged, youth-oriented version of Dreams From My Father as well as write a nonfiction book once he leaves office. [CBS News]
• CNBC's keeping it classy. Larry Kudlow set a dollar bill on fire today. [CJR]
• Jim Cramer is still rattling on about Jon Stewart. [Gawker]
• NBC is planning to launch a "singing competition series" that sounds a lot like—yes, you guessed it—Fox's American Idol. [THR]
• CBS is keeping Two and a Half Men on the air through 2012. [NYT]
• The finalists for the Man Booker International Prize include E. L. Doctorow, V. S. Naipaul, Joyce Carol Oates, Mario Vargas Llosa and Alice Munro. [NYT]
• The noms for the National Magazine Awards are out. [AdAge]
• The cable channel Starz would like to remind you that it exists. [NYT]
• How screwed is the newspaper biz? Here's a pic that sums it up nicely. [BI]

• NBC chief Jeff Zucker says that despite the fact Jim Cramer got his ass handed to him last week by Jon Stewart, it's had absolutely no impact on CNBC. Believe that and you may also be willing to buy that everything's perfect at MSNBC and NBC, and Zucker has a perfect head of hair, too. [Portfolio, B&C]
• Crain Communications has cut 150 staffers and sliced salaries by 10%. [PC]
• Don Hewitt, the creator of 60 Minutes, is in the hospital with cancer. [Wow]
• Media advertising fell 2.6% in 2008, according to Nielsen. [B&C]
• Interview seems to be having financial difficulties. [Gawker]
• Discovery has filed a patent suit against Amazon over the Kindle. [WSJ]
• The Hills's Audrina Patridge has a reality show of her own in the works. [THR]
• CNN's Lou Dobbs is a racist. But you probably knew that already. [Gawker]

2009 is a terrible time to be young, if you're the type of young person who wants a job in the media, as opposed to the drug distribution industry. The "entry level" is...closed.

NBC capo Jeff Zucker, today: "CNBC is a spectacular organization and in particular Jim Cramer."

NonSociety, the attempt by unduly well-known dating columnist Julia Allison to blog for dollars, will soon be down to just two. Mary Rambin, her vapid handbag-designer gal pal, is quitting the startup.

If you felt a rush of orange light, pretty boys and butterflies last night, it wasn't spring knocking at your door. It was NBC's Kings, which despite its turgid premiere is a show worth saving.

• Jim Cramer hits The Daily Show tonight. And in what can only be interpreted as an effort to dial down the ass-kicking headed his way, Cramer is now claiming Jon Stewart is "his idol." Good luck with that there, Jim. [HP]
• Should CNBC's Erin Burnett really be making appearances on Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice? Maybe not: "NBC keeps testing the limits between news and entertainment in pursuit of cross-promotional synergy." [NYT]
• "Sully" Sullenberger has scored a two-book deal worth $3 million. [TDB]
• Ann Coulter "has been especially noisy in her self-promotion lately," which may have something to do with the fact her book isn't selling. [Portfolio]
• More and more TV shows are working the recession into storylines. [ABC]
• These are dark days for the newspaper biz, as you've probably heard. [NYT]
• More on Ross Douthat, the conservative blogger who has been hired by The New York Times to take over Bill Kristol's Op-Ed column. [E&P]
• Post staffers reflect on the life and times of Braden Keil, the paper's real estate columnist who died on Tuesday and who will be very much missed. [NYO]

You have to hand it to Jon Stewart: The Daily Show host at least has the good sense to mock his "Basic Cable Personality Clash" with Jim Cramer the very moment it becomes mockable.

Relentless egoblogger Julia Allison took a break from hurling ladyparts labels at bloggers to inform us of breaking news: Her videoblog, TMIweekly, has been picked up by NBC's New York Nonstop. How appropriate!

Given the questions that have been raised over the years about the ties between New York Times reporter Bill Carter and NBC management, it's a bit of a wonder the paper still permits him to churn out puff pieces about the network. But they do, and so today Carter happily reports that NBC News "is making a pile of money" and the NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams is doing so fantastically well that Steve Capus, the president of the division, is now thinking about becoming the "first network to expand to a full-hour newscast." There's a great idea! Now instead of not being home to catch Williams from 6:30 to 7pm, you can miss an extra half-hour between 6 and 6:30pm, too. The persuasive evidence supporting this winner of an idea is below.

CNBC hires only the finest financial minds, such as Erin Burnett. You say the Great Depression was bad? She says: "The invention of the chocolate chip cookie." Game. And. Match. [Click to watch]

• HarperCollins is launching a new imprint which will focus on "pop culture, sports, style and content derived from the Internet." Clever! [NYT]
• Sony Pictures is cutting 300 employees, or 4% of its workforce. [LAT]
• YouTube and Universal are in talks to build a "hub" for music videos. [WSJ]
• Jon Stewart went to town on CNBC last night, in case you missed it. [Portfolio]
• For some reason, NBC has decided to bring back Heroes next season. [THR]
• In the first two months of this year, 7,453 jobs were lost at media companies. You know, just in case you're keeping track or whatever. [THR]

Sure, Jimmy Fallon was awkward on his Late Night debut, as first-time hosts tend to be. But expectations are so low the comedian just needed to show a little promise. That he did.

• Jerry Seinfeld has a new project in the works for NBC. The Marriage Ref will feature celebs "judging couples in the midst of marital disputes." [THR]
• The Times is scaling back the number of issues it publishes of T. [NYP]
• The Gray Lady does say it has enough cash to last through '09, though. [E&P]
• Denver's Rocky Mountain News is shutting down on Friday. [AP]
• Fox has renewed The Simpsons for two more seasons. [Variety]
• ABC collected $72 million for the 26 minutes of ad time it sold during the Oscars. Overall, ad spending fell by 10 percent this year, though. [TVW, NYT]
• Doubledown Media, which ceased operations recently, is bankrupt. [MM]
• You can now download CBS shows to your iPhone. Enjoy. [NYT]

Tonight is Conan O'Brien's last Late Night. Yes, it's a bittersweet changing of the guard—but he's all ours now! Make him feel at home by signing this Defamer Welcomes Conan to L.A. card.

From as best as we can make out, Rodman loses it in the middle of a challenge (perhaps mounting a charity auction for Baron von Trump's wealthy nursery classmates?), towering over team-leader Black and bellowing, "Fuck this bullshit! You think you did fucking right, bro? Aw, fuck you, man. Fuck you!" as a small puddle gathers circumference beneath the country singer's feet. Rodman then stomps out of the room, a gesture of defiance sure to displease the toddler Trump at that evening's board room, who'll toss an apple juice drinkin' box at the recalcitrant contestant's head in disgust. [YouTube]

Robert De Niro will be Jimmy Fallon's first guest—an unusually intimidating choice to ease first-night jitters, no matter how well their "Are you a pothead Fallon? Could you milk me?"-patter goes in rehearsal.

Last week we totally harshed on NBC's 30 Rock for writing McDonald's McFlurry into its script in such a sellout-y way. But it was all natural, no ad money, just for fun, allegedly!

In 12 days, a ready-as-he'll-ever-be Jimmy Fallon will take Conan O'Brien's slot, backed by Philadelphia hip-hop outfit The Roots. Drummer ?uestlove spoke to Rolling Stone about their miserly new bosses, NBC.

Did GE corporate issue a memo about this "Twitter" thing? Because all of a sudden, Ann Curry and a bunch of other NBC people are using it. Can't wait to see the Six Sigma metrics!