Claw-baring catwalker Naomi Campbell says she picked up more than trash while working off a community-service sentence at a city Sanitation Department facility - she also landed a much-needed lesson in humility. In a soul-baring, day-to-day diary that she penned during her week cleaning Sanit offices at Pier 36 in Manhattan, the manic mannequin provides more-than-skin-deep insight into her much-publicized, usually explosive psyche.

• "You can imagine what courage it takes to be in all new surroundings, with new people and a new language. He is very strong," Angelina Jolie says of her new adopted son Pax Thien. [People]
  

Naomi Campbell reported for her first day of community service at the Lower East Side Sanitation depot yesterday, and she wore some clothes! As the 90s supermodel expiated her phone-throwing sins, the Post reports that she maintained a luxe look: "Campbell wore green yoga pants, stiletto boots, a black empire-waist coat, diamond-studded earrings, a newsboy cap and large, black sunglasses on her first day of real work." Someone who knows things about fashion would probably be able to find a bunch of errors and omissions in that sentence—even our untutored eye can discern a Chanel logo on that newsboy cap and Louboutin-red soles on those boots, and that's no empire waist. But more importantly, anyone who has ever seen an episode of any modeling-themed reality show knows that the "first day of real work" thing is bullshit. You've gotta work. Everyone knows that.

• Looks like Courtney Love forgot to pay that $181,000 rehab bill. [TSG]
  

In addition to finally copping to her cell-phone maid assault, Naomi Campbell has somehow scored a sweet interviewer's gig with British GQ. This supposedly came about due to Naomi's stellar performance when grilled for GQ by an old enemy, i.e. columnist Piers Morgan; he had to pay her $1.7 million in damages in 2004, back when he edited the Daily Mirror and his paper invaded her privacy by running pictures of her attending NarcAnon meetings. One assumes that most of Naomi's interview questions will revolve around the location of her jeans.

• What do you want from A.M. New York, accuracy? It's free!
  

"OK, Ms. Campebll, I'll go high, he goes low, you hit it straight up the middle." While contending with new charges that she's a "violent super bigot," Naomi Campbell stood in Manhattan Criminal Court for all of three minutes today, apparently not even stopping for a kosher hot dog on the sidewalk. The court convened to consider charging her with second-degree assault for opening up her housekeeper's head with a hurled cell phone. The judge set a new hearing date (January 16) while prosecutors and Campbell's lawyers try to work out a plea deal; she faces up to seven years of supermodel prison hottness, if convicted.

Another day, another maid who claims that Naomi Campbell beat her and accused her of stealing her jeans. While this beating sadly didn't involve a jewel-encrusted cell phone, it did have an added element of bigotry, which is almost as much fun: the "hot-tempered supermodel" allegedly shouted "You are not in the Third World anymore, stupid!" at the maid, a Romanian immigrant. Luckily for Naomi, who appears in Manhattan Criminal Court today on the previous charge, her lawyer David Breitbart has a totally airtight and genius defense strategy:

Serial beatdown artist Naomi Campbell was relaxing in her native London while trying to get her work visa renewed, when apparently the blood-rage took hold of her once again. Rumor has it that Campbell attacked her own drug counselor, inflicting "scratches all over her face." Campbell was arrested, then released on bail; she "rebailed" for an appearance later in October, but then rebailed again for a December appearance (good luck getting her to show up in court). No charges have yet been filed, and the unfortunate drug counselor hasn't been publicly identified. But she'd damn well keep her mouth shut, if she knows what's good for her. And next time, she'll fill that prescription a little more quickly.

• Naomi Campbell sends a judge into a fit when she fails to show for her court date regarding that incident when she chucked her BlackBerry at her maid's head. He was further angered to learn that prosecutors had not sought a bench warrant for the supermodel's arrest, but softened when prosecution explained that it was just because they didn't want to endanger any police officers. [NYDN]
• BREAKING: Jessica Simpson is cranky! Bitchy! Barfy! Human! [Page Six]
• More on Jack Nicholson's dildo. [R&M]
• Stocking up for a long flight from JFK, the Olsen twins buy "a big bag of beef jerky, three large rolls of LifeSavers, two packs of gum and a copy of every tabloid magazine." That plane's poor toilets. [Lowdown]
• American Media Inc. is actually upset that Katie Couric didn't mention that they had an employee die from anthrax. [Page Six]
• We ignored it yesterday, but Avril Lavigne has now made a habit of regularly spitting on photographers. You, young lady, are no Canadian! [TMZ]

If you've been to Grand Central today, you'll have seen the giant posters promoting investment in Germany and starring supermodel Claudia Schiffer. Not to be outdone, England has commissioned its own ad, starring native supermodel Naomi Campbell. You'll find it after the jump.

In case you're wondering who or what Naomi Campbell's been beating lately, the abusive model — who's dealing with three lawsuits from former assistants — recently caused $54,000 worth of damage to the luxury yacht belonging to her then-boyfriend Badr Jafar. It was really all the chef's fault, you see, as his "tomato, mozzarella and dried ham starter with white wine" failed to please Campbell, who announced the culinary failure with a heated verbal reprimand that quickly became a shouting match. The chef made the mistake of screaming back, which obviously meant that Campbell had to throw plates and rip apart cushions and curtains. As this ultimately caused $54,000 worth of damage to Jafar's boat, Campbell and her beau have since parted ways the only way Campbell knows how — with a police presence. The UK Sun reports that Campbell went to Jafar's London residence on July 10 to pick up her belongings, a visit which went so amicably that Campbell was arrested for causing a "disturbance" outside.

Another battered woman formerly in the employ of modeling warlord Naomi Campbell has come forward to share her bruises with the world: 20-year-old Amanda Brack filed suit against the model yesterday, citing assault, battery, false imprisonment and infliction of emotional distress. Sadly, her lawsuit is vague on details of the carnage, but the suit claims that soon after Brack was hired, "Campbell initiated a series of verbal and physical and emotional attacks against [Brack] such that plaintiff suffered both physical and emotional injuries." Brack stayed on board, however, for the exotic locales in which she was abused, accompanying Campbell on trips to Brazil and Morocco. Like many of Campbell's previous victims, Brack was accused of stealing, but she somehow escaped the shuriken BlackBerry. Despite the utter lack of bloodshed, Brack then quit. Pussy.

• Disneyland stays open until midnight for Lindsay Lohan, so that Mickey might get high from her special secondhand smoke. On the darkened riverboat cruise that concluded her evening, Lohan made the happiest place on earth a little more so by blowing rails of Tinkerbell's fairy dust. [MiceAge]
• Diddy now asks that you refer to him as Puff. And if you openly mock him, you can expect the support of onlookers and pedicab drivers. [Page Six]
• At a shop in London, a salesgirl refuses to take Naomi Campbell's credit card; the girl apparently didn't believe it was actually Campbell making the purchase. Campbell stormed out of the store; salesgirl miraculously escapes unharmed. [Female First]
• Brandon Davis is out of rehab; Los Angeles drug dealers stock up in anticipation. [Gatecrasher (2nd to last)]
• Always on the urban beat, Lloyd Grove reports that rapper Foxy Brown is facing misdemeanor charges of harassing her former assistant with threatening emails. Emails? Whatever happened to the hardcore bitchslap? [Lowdown]
• The good news: drooling virgins will finally be able to see Natalie Portman naked. The bad news: they'll have to sit through an entire Goya biopic. [Page Six]
• Elle MacPherson assumes her role as the lead Hot Tuna. [Bloomberg]

• Instead of serving hard time for cocaine possession, Boy George will be doing community service. Specifically, he'll be working for the Department of Sanitation. With the summer heat melting rat turds everywhere, we would've opted to be a prison bitch. [OMG]
• Terror returns to the financial district: Naomi Campbell moving into 55 Wall Street. [WSJ]
• Peter Kaplan and Arthur Carter are surprisingly hot. [The Real Estate]
• If Star Jones and Al Reynolds were fish, she'd be the bug-eyed starfish and he'd be a gay-as-a-rainbow trout. [Gallery of the Absurd]
• Heather Graham gets ice cream and you don't. But really, she needs it more than you do. [Almost Literary]
• If you combine Times heds with the final paragraph of the accompanying story, you get a simplified, if not mildly insane, result. [Bumper Active]
• Grace Edwards toes dangerously at the nipslip line — really, New York Social Diary just doesn't do that sort of thing, dear. [NYSD]
• This is extremely late-breaking, but when in doubt, blame sagging circulation on natural disasters. You can't argue with God's weather patterns! [Mediaweek (last graf)]

• Palm Beach airport officials find a bottle of Viagra in Rush Limbaugh's bag, but the prescription is not in his name. The situation could result in a second-degree misdemeanor, and one very unsatisfied lady friend. [CNN]
• People's online appendage is hiring — and much like OK!, they're looking on Craigslist. If that's the best their HR can afford, Time Inc. is suffering more than we all know. [Craigslist]
• Naomi Campbell sashays into court to deal with that silly time she chucked a crystal-encrusted BlackBerry at her housekeeper's head. Alas, she did not wear the coveted denim for her appearance. [TMZ]
• A very pregnant Lizzie Grubman — imagine, if you can, what horror grows within her womb. [New York Scene]
• Ann Coulter scores exactly 666 mentions on the HuffPo People Ranker. Coincidence? Hell fucking no. [HuffPo]
• It was only a matter of time before Billyburg hipsters made themselves their own ironic, Billyburg sitcom. Forgive us for kind of loving it. [The Burg]
• Dan Radosh's love of hardcore porn makes the New York Approval Matrix, but not without the snub of not naming his website. Though his wife is likely relieved. [Radosh]
• This may be the most adorably stupid item ever: hot priests who look like celebrities. Naturally, these men of the cloth have their own calendar. Even more naturally, we've ordered ourselves one for every square foot of HQ. [TMZ]

• Jesus lives and saves us all: Star Jones is reportedly announcing her departure from The View, preferring instead to continue her rapid shrinking in the privacy of her own home. If we're lucky, her on-air farewell will be the exact opposite of Katie Couric's: hilarious and laced with blood. [Access Hollywood]
• Producer Dallas Austin has now been in a Dubai prison for one month for trying to bring drugs into the country for Naomi Campbell's birthday party; Campbell has yet to forgive him for ruining her big day. [MTV]
• A sneak peek at a former Playboy Bunny's tell-all, plus her requisite cleavage. [Hollywood Interrupted]
• Best Week Ever comedian Sherrod Small slams the John Mayer report, insists that the musician's use of the n-word was funny. [BWE]
• Extremely loud and incredibly derivative. [The Velvet Blog]
• One block of 103rd Street is renamed Humphrey Bogart Place in honor of the actor's childhood home. Not that it makes the locale any more appealing. [Cinematical]
• Unintentional hilarity: Laura Ingraham as the next Jon Stewart? It's a pilot we'd gleefully kill to get our hands on. [TV Newser]
• Overheard in NY gets its own stalker map. [Overplot]
• Kudos to the generous Daily News editors who allowed Ben Widdicombe to out both Anderson Cooper and Shep Smith in one fell swoop. [Gatecrasher]
• Hipster Swiss Army knives, crafted especially for Bedford Avenue stabbings. [Consumerist]
• Does Us Weekly have a problem with Britney Spears? Is People coddling her? And at what point will we all collectively agree to just look the fuck away? [Media Orchard]

• These are Nicole Kidman's last moments as a single woman — she and Keith Urban will marry tomorrow in Sydney. Should things go by the wayside, Urban will get just $600K for every year of their marriage and not a single penny if he goes back to blowing rails. [Page Six]
• Speaking of powdering one's nose, producer Dallas Austin is currently in a Dubai prison for trying to smuggle drugs into the country. The occasion? Naomi Campbell's birthday party, of course. And she was pissed when he didn't make it. [R&M (2nd item)]
• Being famous is hard for Anderson Cooper — people offer him free stuff and know his name and ride in his car and want to be his friend. Poor Anderson. (Jesus, listen to us: are we headed towards a backlash? No, no. Just a rough spot, that's all.) [Lowdown]
• A paparazzo sketching around Maddox Jolie's daycare center is arrested for trespassing, though he didn't jump any fences or set foot on the center's grounds. He was just innocently, legally stalking. [TMZ]
• Drag queen Kevin Aviance, whose jaw was wired shut after he was beaten in a hate crime, will have his mouth set free for one day so that he can perform for Sunday's gay pride parade. Let's hope he sings his hit song "Cunty," if only so we can see how the Times covers it. [Page Six]
• American Idol runner-up Katharine McPhee will not let you forget about her, even if that means she has to pull the bulimia card. [People]
• Just in time for the premiere of Superman Returns, Kate Bosworth nears death. [Popsugar]
• Finally, thank God, the Coreys reunite — we're praying for License to Drive 2. They owe it to us, really. [E!]

• Supermodel Naomi Campbell puts her 6-bedroom Park Avenue condo on the block for $5.25 million. Blood-stained BlackBerry and frightened housekeepers not included. As to where she's moving to — isn't Dubai more relaxed about beating your underlings? [Page Six]
• Jay-Z does his best George Clooney imitation and considers building a 40/40 Casino in Las Vegas. [R&M]
• Brett Ratner's X-Men: The Last Stand breaks Memorial Day box office records, and he manages to feign humility. [Lowdown]
• An invitation from Britney Spears and Kevin Federline's wedding is now on eBay for $999.99 — because irony is expensive. [TMZ]
• Despite the general public having 24 hours to do something about the travesty, Anna Nicole Smith remains pregnant. [People]

Grab your PDA and chuck it at your nearest co-worker, because it's supermodel Naomi Campbell's 36th birthday! The violent beauty kicked off her celebration yesterday in Dubai, where's she's rented 18 floors of the Burj Al Arab. The party is being hosted by boyfriend Badr Jafar and will last three days; yesterday's theme was all white, tonight's is hip-hop, and tomorrow will be "Brazilian Samba." The guestlist reportedly includes Linda Evangelista, Eva Herzigova, and David and Victoria Beckham — all of whom would rather trek to the sweltering middle east than be on Naomi's bad side.