Oprah got Naomi Campbell to agree to a "no phone zone" pledge to not use her phone in the car, and a "no phone throwing zone" pledge to not assault people. The "no blood diamonds zone" pledge remained unsigned. [WWD]

During an interview about her upcoming album Bionic, a reporter coughed and Christina (who looks good!) interrupted her sentence to voice her displeasure before playing it off as a joke. What an amateur: Naomi Campbell would have clocked the guy.

Those anger management classes must really be working! After an uncomfortable interview about a blood diamond Naomi Campbell may or may not have received, the temperamental model punched an inanimate object—a video camera—and not a human.

Eight kids takes a toll. Elin Nordegren flees to Sweden and wants to stay there. Heather Locklear's hit and run, Cuban Gooding Jr.'s boozy ramble, Naomi Campbell's blood diamond. Thursday's gossip roundup is too busy to get nasty.

Won't somebody save tragic ragamuffin Sunny James? Her father has three mistresses on the record, now. Lady Gaga contemplates dying on stage. Tiger Woods courted LeAnn Rimes. Brad Pitt talks about his beard. Thursday gossip has orphans and a widow.

Is Reggie Bush sexist, or is he just tired of being Kim's prop or photo op? Zoe Saldana is sick of losing roles for being black. Michelle McGee's fetish videos include spiders, goo, and dolls. Wednesday gossip is feeling queasy.

The Naomi Campbell Contrition Tour 2010 continues with an interview in The Mail on Sunday's Live magazine where she says she has grown up and learned her lesson about punching the help. Sure you have, lady. Sure you have.

[Raging supermodel Naomi Campbell attends a Women for Women event at the Brooklyn Bridge today; image via Getty]

Pitcher of cellphones Naomi Campbell will accompany British First Lady Sarah Brown's charity group to quake-ravaged Haiti. "I am not a humanitarian leader, but someone who wishes to improve the world." The first part we can confirm. [NYDN]

St. Naomi uses her money to buy her way into heaven. Jon Gosselin has a small wang, The McSteamy's have a baby, Lindsay Lohan is doomed, and Angelina banged Mick Jagger. For Friday's gossip, you're stuck with me.

As earthquakes shake our core, this is the last thing we need. Another Naomi Campbell Attack. The volatile Fashion-edition KillRobot 5000 allegedly rapped her driver about the face and neck this afternoon, then fled into the New York streets. Beware.

[Kate Moss (pictured), Naomi Campbell, Daphne Guinness, and Stella McCartney joined McQueen's family for his funeral earlier today at St. Paul's church in London. All were in black, many were in McQueen. A fitting tribute, indeed. Image via Flynet]

Don't worry, she followed it up with "shhh." A Real Housewife gets bounced from Fashion Week. Kelly Osbourne and Peaches Geldof's elaborate dance of avoidance implodes. John Mayer's so far gone, even Oprah won't touch him. Wednesday gossip cometh.

Naomi Campbell paying her respects to Alexander McQueen outside the McQueen store on West 14th Street ... Keanu Reeves leaving his hotel ... Kate Bosworth doing some shopping in SoHo ... Kim Kardashian heading out for the night with Reggie Bush ... Katharine McPhee leaving Century 21 ... Whitney Port walking around in the West Village ... and Katie Holmes leaving the Bowery Hotel with Suri and later stopping off at Magnolia Bakery to buy a cupcake.

• Alex Rodriguez's plan to bed every woman in Hollywood continues apace. The Yankee and Cameron Diaz are now hooking up, according to OK!, although now that the news is out, he's probably already moved on to someone new. Which is too bad, really, since RodDiaz has a nice ring to it. [OK!]
• Michael Jackson's doctor, Conrad Murray, was charged with involuntary manslaughter yesterday. (He pleaded not guilty and faces up to four years behind bars if convicted.) At the arraignment, prosecutors asked that Murray's medical license be revoked, but a judge turned down the request, so if you've been wondering what it's like to get pumped up with propofol, you still have time. [NYP, TMZ]
• It's been a busy week for Angelina Jolie. Yesterday she and Brad Pitt said they plan to sue Britain's News of the World for reporting that they're planning to divorce. And today she's off to Haiti to meet with earthquake victims, since they've been requesting her help—or so she says. [Us, PE]
• She may have spent every episode of Jersey Shore whining about not having a boyfriend, but Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi seems to have landed the man of her dreams: a "typical guido juicehead with a good personality," who also has waxed eyebrows, double-pierced ears, and a penchant for Ed Hardy. [NYDN]
• Despite recent reports that Donald and Melania Trump are having marriage troubles, The Donald says "all is well." Then again he said the same thing when his casinos were going bankrupt and his real estate holdings were imploding, so you may want to take his denial with a grain of salt. [People]

Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass and chewtoy/boyfriend—New Orleans Saints player Reggie Bush—descend on Miami. Let Diddy be Diddy. Madonna's vagina is funny. Kristen Stewart got someone fired. Tiger Woods: excited to jack off? Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.

This is usually the time of year when politicians, big-shot bankers, and top diplomats converge on Davos, Switzerland for the annual World Economic Forum. But like last year, the event is expected to be far more downbeat than in years past when Angelina Jolie turned up to discuss global poverty and Naomi Campbell strutted around the Alpine village in very fashionable après-ski attire. This year the best attendees can look forward to is catching a glimpse of Chinese pianist Lang Lang or self-important director James Cameron. Depressing!

Taylor² (Lautner and Swift) are awesome, and even Kings of Leon say so. Amy Adams: having a baby, and this too, is awesome. Naomi Campbell, Julia Roberts, and George Stephanopoulos give me 90s nostalgia. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.

Pretty much anything Bono or Sean Penn write is a festival of crap that would never be tolerated from another contributor. Even James Franco sounds like a moron in today's Wall Street Journal. Here's why:

• Rosie O'Donnell told Howard Stern yesterday that she "had a chance to romance" Angelina Jolie back when they were both single and they talked on the phone a few times, but they never ended going out for dinner as planned, alas. She also says Petra Nemcova once sent her "love signals" when the model was a guest on Rosie's talk show, but she didn't capitalize on that opportunity either. Rosie has a new satellite radio show launching next week, so don't be surprised if more of these missed love connections surface in the coming days. [NYDN, CM]
• In other creepy celebrity sex news, a new book by controversial biographer Andrew Morton claims that Angelina Jolie slept with her mother's live-in boyfriend when she was 16 years old. And a second Jolie tell-all, to be published on December 1, claims Angie once contemplated suicide, has a history of heroin use, and, when it comes to her relationship with Brad Pitt, has "successfully manipulated the public into believing a glamorous fairytale that bears little resemblance to the reality of the pair's life together." [DM, Us]
• Ashley Dupre popped by Scores last Saturday night. She didn't strip, but she did make out with her new boyfriend PJ all night, so patrons of the strip club didn't go home totally empty-handed. [P6]