Waitress CeCe Bruce wasn't having the best of Wednesdays working the morning shift at an Indianapolis Steak 'n Shake.

Earlier this week, residents of the Pukou district in Nanjing, China, noticed a foul-smelling foam-like substance creeping out of a crack in the street and started asking questions.

On Wednesday, Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was visiting a high school in Brisbane when someone threw a sandwich at her.

Eleven years ago, Brenda Heist dropped her two children off at school in Lititz, Pa. and then disappeared. The dinner she'd been preparing was left defrosting, and her car was found in a nearby county. None of her possessions were missing. Nine years later, her ex-husband, Lee Heist, who police initially viewed as a suspect, had her declared legally dead. Since then, her ex husband has remarried, and her two children, now 19 and 23, went to college.

The partially decomposed bodies of two North Korean sailors were found in the waters off Japan this weekend. Both sailors had been crew members on a North Korean cargo ship that went missing in late December.

Normal boy Justin Bieber seems poised to turn his weird, bad week into a weird, bad fortnight. The singer abruptly canceled the second of two scheduled Portuguese concert appearances just days before he was expected to perform.

On February 10th, dog handler Robert Chaffin and his charge, a fluffy three-year-old Samoyed named Cruz, shared a steak and a hotel room as they prepared for the Westminster Dog Show. Six days later, while at a show in Colorado, the cuddly "marshmallow" began vomiting up blood. Within hours, Cruz was dead.

Science, what mysteries is the sea ready to disclose today?

Kanye West's twitter account has just erupted like a geyser, spewing streams of single words into the atmosphere.

When you think of "things that self-aggrandizing assholes like," you may think of flashy jewelry, or exotic sports cars, or misquoting The Art of War. True enough. But there is no single signifier more characteristic of the upwardly mobile, ostentatious yet fundamentally insecure, braggart asshole male than an expensive fucking watch. See this? It's a Breitling, bro. Don't touch.

Let's examine this issue calmly, one step at a time. People invented pickling thousands of years ago as a way to preserve perishable foods. The preservation comes from acidity. That's that classic sourish, pickly flavor. Americans consume more than 20 billion pickles a year. Most of those pickles are dill. Dill pickles are the most popular kind of pickles.

Dogs: why are they so racist? You know the type: prancing along as merry as can be until a human of a certain skin tone walks by, and then—bang!—all the barking and snarling and biting. It's been a source of uncomfortable comedy for years. Some dogs are just racist. But why? We turned to the real live dog psychology experts to find out.

Through a combination of strange luck and postal incompetence, the University of Chicago's admissions office received a mysterious package addressed to a "Henry Walton Jones, Jr" late last week. At first, they assumed it was sent to the wrong department, and it was placed in separate pile. Some time later, a student-worker realized that Henry Walton Jones, Jr is actually Indiana Jones, who was, as you might remember, a famous, if fictional, University of Chicago alumnus.

Here at Gawker, we stand in opposition to the back-slapping Lamestream Media and its cozy relationships with Big Business, from Big Fruit all the way to Big Pie. That's why we were the only news organization brave enough to come right out and ask, "Hey, how come you never see orange pie, on the menu or whatever?" It was only a matter of time before Big Pie sent out its MSM attack dogs to try to recapture the narrative.

Let us stipulate, as gentlemen and gentlewomen, that food can generally be divided into two separate and distinct categories: Sweet foods, and Salty (or Savory) foods. Accepting momentarily this fundamental bifurcation, we turn our attention, as we do so often, to nuts. Nuts. Are they a salty food, or a sweet food? The answer is not so simple.

Oranges: a popular fruit. Very popular. Go in any place that sells fruit, fruit store, or whatever, and I bet one thing you will see there displayed prominently is—that's right—oranges. The point is that oranges are very popular in America. So then, smartass: why is there no orange pie?

Every pig has its day — and in this case, that means reversing the food chain.

Here's a novel trend: white people in America are losing relative to non-white people in America, in some way. What?? Yes, of course, this trend involves poor and/ or undereducated white people, but still. You don't see that too often. So—why are the white high school dropouts dying younger now?

Rabbits: adorable, fluffy, prone to dying. Seriously, these little guys can have actual heart attacks at the sound of a balloon popping.

The attack on the U.S. embassy in Libya that left a U.S. ambassador and three embassy employees dead is being linked to protests over a YouTube trailer for a shitty satirical film about the prophet Muhammed. But the film's creator, a man who goes by the name "Sam Bacile," is a mystery.