Eighteen percent of Americans believe President Obama is a Muslim, according to a new poll. The same number of Americans have "had a ghostly experience." America: Where every fifth person is reliably crazy. (For the record, Obama is Hindu.)

Now that Barack Obama has opened his mouth on Cordoba House—aka Park51, aka (but not really) the "Ground Zero Mosque"—the ugly story won't be going away for a while. So, what's the latest?

Tonight, Jon Stewart issued a one-two punch regarding the proposed "Ground Zero Mosque." First, to President Obama for flip-flopping on his support for it, and then to Glenn Beck for criticizing another's statements about 9/11 that he'd recently made himself.

Vile political failure Newt Gingrich has another stupid comparison for the Islamic center in lower Manhattan: "Nazis don't have the right to put up a sign next to the Holocaust Museum in Washington." How many things are wrong here?

Nefarious tyrant Barack Obama has boldly taken sides in the Great War on Mosques: He will be hosting a White House "iftar" feast tonight for Ramadan, the enemy's holiday. How many 9/11 mosques will he green-light during this meal, hmm?

Anti-mosque fever is all the rage nationwide, not just in lower Manhattan. Everyone's doing it! And now the American Family Association, a religious right heavyweight, has taken it to a new level: no more mosques in the United States, period.

It's real. The Saudi government is currently building an enormous clock tower in Mecca, set to Arabia Standard Time, that they hope will overshadow the Greenwich Observatory as the true center of the world's time. Yes. Arab Muslims: Time Thieves.

Fox News' super-funny Red Eye host Greg Gutfeld wants to open a gay bar that "caters to... Islamic gay men" next to Cordoba House, a.k.a. the Ground Zero Mosque, because Muslims are homophobic. Savvy! Go for it, Greg. Seriously.

The Anti-Defamation League has issued a pathetic statement opposing Cordoba House, aka the "Ground Zero Mosque." While the ADL condemns the bigotry galvanizing Cordoba's opponents, and thinks proponents have "every right" to build there... it says they shouldn't anyway. Huh?

Newt Gingrich, who's justified his opposition to the "Ground Zero Mosque" by noting that there aren't churches in Saudi Arabia, now says that these Muslims should build their community center near Central Park, or Columbia. How about Connecticut, Newt? Quebec?

Hmm, how should a nation square its mainstream prejudice against Muslims with that damn "freedom of religion" right in the Constitution? Tennessee Lieutenant Gov. Ron Ramsey, currently running for governor, suggests that maybe they're not a "religion" anyway! Perfect.

Former NYPD commissioner Bernie Kerik, currently incarcerated, is nobly tweeting out against the "Ground Zero Mosque," somehow. Hey, Muslims: Have some respect for 9/11's victims... by having affairs in apartments next to Ground Zero, like Kerik did. [Photo: AP]

NBC and CBS yesterday (wisely) rejected a demented National Republican Trust PAC ad called "Kill the Ground Zero Mosque." But did the PAC really intend to buy air time, or was it a stunt to raise money online? Doesn't matter.

Last night, the NYC Landmarks Preservation Commission met to discuss possibly designating a building on Park Place, north of Wall Street, as a landmark. Of course, the hearing was not about architecture. It was about saving us from THE OTHER.

French non-Muslim people are very scared of Muslims: France's lower house of parliament has "overwhelmingly" approved a ban on face-covering veils that only 1,900 French Muslim women wear anyway. The French simply do not care for clothing-related civil liberties.

"They're not all a bunch of lawless renegades." A-rab working class people, that is! The NY Post comes to this generous conclusion after three pedicab drivers—including two Muslim types—foiled a robbery. However! Muslims still threaten America—from space.

After 9/11, the State Department launched an Arab outreach magazine to show off the splendors of American life. It didn't work and was mired in petty politics. For example: pictures of donkeys on camping trips were deemed too "pro-Democrat".

Outraged at the proposed building of a 9/11 Anti-Memorial Mosque right near Ground Zero, radio host and Tea Party Express chairman Mark Williams took to his blog and got real mad at nasty Muslims. And their monkey-god too.

Minorities in NYC are nine times more likely than whites to be stopped and frisked by cops—but no more likely to be arrested. This proves that minorities are suspicious characters. And lo, Andrea Peyser spies suspicious Muslins, praying suspiciously!

In 2007, Swedish artist Lars Vilks drew a series of cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a dog, with the intention of examining political correctness in art. He received international condemnation and death threats. Yesterday, he was attacked. Enough already.