The highlight of yesterday's lame music awards show: a performance by a singer who wasn't even there, Amy Winehouse, who had been denied a US visa, and was still technically in rehab. Yes, that's how far the Grammys have fallen. [Culture Vulture]

Kanye West is a man who has nobly borne cruel indignities with quiet grace. Like when he stormed the stage of the MTV Europe awards and threw a tantrum because his video that had him "jumping across canyons" wasn't recognized as a masterpiece. That show, of course, lost "credibility" by stiffing him. The Grammys weren't about to take that risk. They gave Kanye an appropriately respectful number of awards, but made the mistake of trying to cut one of his acceptance speeches short with background music. Don't the producers know that his mother just died? That means he will talk as long as he wants, damn the world. Is it just us or... tacky much? The "MAMA" haircut and Mama tribute song probably would have sufficed. Watch his humble appeal to good taste and decide for yourself.

[AFP]

"The group is called Previously On Lost, and they recap Lost episodes via song," says blogger Pam Newman. God, I don't know what witty text I can add. Except that it sounds like Rockapella guest-starring on the toddler show Yo Gabba Gabba. [Previously on Lost]

"A thick cloud of marijuana smoke wafted through the air then and throughout the concert, and some fans engaged in free-style dance as though magically transported from 1968." [Reuters]

Rapper Kanye West has posted to his website three pages from his forthcoming book, "Thank You And You're Welcome," which apparently will be a collection of "Kanye-isms" — big text, lots of whitespace, few words. But what West's advice lacks in quantity, it makes up for in quality. In fact, it's probably safe to say this is one of the best $10 books by a rapper ever published. After the jump, Kanye drops science on paper.

So sure, Willie Nelson just told a radio station in Palm Beach Florida that he "can't go along with" the idea of airplanes taking down the World Trade Center towers on Sept. 11, 2001, and that the fall of the buildings was too "symmetrical" and looked just like this implosion he saw of a building in Las Vegas this one time when he was sober. Maybe 9/11 denial seems like a particularly insane and counterfactual conspiracy theory for a crooner like Nelson. But, hey, don't forget how the government took almost all his possessions for back taxes in 1990, and then they took his marijuana and 'shrooms 17 months ago even though he could have lost his professional musicians' license for not getting high on that stuff on his tour bus. Also, he already warned us he would turn out this way, though song lyrics, presented along with audio of Nelson's rant after the jump.

FINALLY, medical researchers have completed a detailed study of popular music. But the results are staggering: American music is "awash" with lyrics about drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. Rap music was the most high, at a 77% drug-mentioning clip; Country came in second at 36%. Reuters shows its cute fairness agenda by quoting both Three Six Mafia and country singer Joe Nichols. It's a party for everyone! The bad news in all this? "The study did not quantify references to sex, violence, or expletives." [Reuters]

Bill Cosby is supposedly going to cut a non-profane rap album called State of Emergency, and in just half a day the news is dusted up the sort of controversy once reserved for rap albums with graphic sex, cop-killing violence and psychopathic clowns. Entertainment Weekly thinks Cosby will "embarrass himself," New York Magazine speculates the album will be "terrible" and the commenters at All Hip Hop are barely more kind, particularly given Cosby's previous criticism of an urban subset of black teenagers. But Cosby has become a more interesting cultural critic in his old age than most hot rappers are now that their genre has awkwardly matured and their once-controversial macho poses become stale. Also, the man's Sergeant Pepper rendition is brilliant, audio excerpt after the jump.

Remember the other famous musician who tried to busk in the subway? Except this one was Joshua Bell, "one of the finest classical musicians in the world." He made $32 in 45 minutes, and didn't even draw a crowd. [Washington Post]

Buried in the bottom of Clive Thompson's interview with the man who rebutted The Tipping Point is a description of a neat little study of how music catches on in subcultures. Yahoo research scientist Duncan Watts gave eight online groups of people the same collection of songs and let them rate and discuss them. As people rated and talked in each group, certain songs became popular hits — but each time it was different songs. But wait, it gets worse.

Bono gave a red iPod to the Japanese Prime Minister hoping to encourage more support from Japan to combat African poverty. Yasuo Fukuda asked Bono if his music was preloaded on the device. "No, but you can download it."

"Dr. Karageorghis said 'Push It' by Salt-N-Pepa and 'Drop It Like It's Hot' by Snoop Dogg are around that range, as is the dance remix of 'Umbrella' by Rihanna (so maybe the pop star was onto something). For a high-intensity workout like a hard run, he suggested Glenn Frey's 'The Heat Is On.'" [NYT]

"4AD is pleased to announce the forthcoming world-wide release of Mountain Battles, the new album from The Breeders on Tuesday, April 8, 2008." Um: ! !!! !!!! !! ! !!! !!!!!! ! !! !!!!! !! !! !!! [MySpace]

Dear label-hating pundits who gush about Madonna's oh-so-innovative deal with Live Nation: Have you tried to buy anything from Live Nation's site? All I wanted was tix to a local show at a midsize club. Live Nation splatted my screen with so many upsells, signups and talking audio popups that I felt like I'd walked into the old Tower store on Newbury Street. Live Nation surcharged me nine bucks a pop for general admission seats. My print-at-home passes (left) were lost amid pages of tree-killing, color-ink-squandering ads. I Photoshopped the tickets onto one clean page for printing, solely for my own peace of mind.

Aussie rockers AC/DC have finally won access to the domain name acdc.com from a porn company that was redirecting traffic to sexually explicit sites. Now, kids searching for the band that keeps rocking after more than 30 years won't be exposed to dirty deeds. One wonders if hearing the song is any substitute. [The Register]

New Yorker music critic Sasha Frere-Jones is concerned that all the indie kids don't try to sound like black people anymore. He went to an Arcade Fire show and was totally bored! Do they even have a rhythm section? It's all shouting and French horns, isn't it? "But, in the past few years," says Sasha, "I've spent too many evenings at indie concerts waiting in vain for vigor, for rhythm, for a musical effect that could justify all the preciousness." Ok so he didn't he get there in time for LCD Soundsystem then? [New Yorker]

More and more artists are striking innovative deals to sell their music — and leaving the traditional record industry contract behind. The Wall Street Journal reports that once Madonna's contract with Warner Music is up, she will link up with concert-promoter Live Nation. While not as revolutionary as Radiohead's pay-what-you-want plan, or Prince's free-music-with-newspaper deal, Live Nation is a concert production company, not a record label. Madonna's deal will bring album production and distribution, concerts, merchandise and publicity under one company.

"(I'm So Much Cooler) Online" hit #1 this week on Billboard's chart of the top country songs. Nashville serial hitmaker Brad Paisley tackles a topic Weird Al passed over, the pathetic loser whose MySpace page tells a whole 'nother story. "Online I'm out in Hollywood / I'm six foot five and I look damn good / Even on a slow day, I can have a three-way chat / with two women at one time." Verse two is punctuated by a Mac boot chime. A video starring Jason Alexander, William Shatner and Marcia Brady already topped iTunes' own download chart. But as with most country music vids, you're better off to just listen to the song.