When the Daily News needed to illustrate a story on karaoke bars, guess who appeared in the photo? Julia Allison, omnipresent media figure and karaoke aficionado! Her face is the mandated illustration for at least one-third of all breaking lifestyle stories within the confines of Manhattan. And her singing partner is none other than Tumblr founder David Karp, no doubt belting out "Ride of the Valkyries" as undercover PepsiCo advertising operatives furiously scribble notes. Though this song lasted but a moment, the blog debate over the song will surely consume hundreds of hours. Julia Allison's Tumblr'd question that night: "What are the top Geek songs of all time?" Oh, the synchronicity. [via NYDN]

Freaky deaky swinger singer R. Kelly is about to go on trial in his hometown of Chicago for the crime of child pornography. But first, they have to find a jury. And that seems to be more difficult that you would think, because, judging strictly by media coverage, Chicago is full of weasels, crazy people, and child porn supporters. After the jump, the five best reasons [from a longer list at the Chicago Tribune] that people have given to get out of serving on the jury in this case of the century:

Scarlett Johansson's *ahem* long-awaited Tom Waits cover album "Anywhere I Lay My Head" is hitting stores a week from today. But in order to demonstrate to your circle of friends that you are ahead of the curve when it comes to blonde starlets and their ego-driven vanity music projects, you can check out her album now on the social network imeem.com (she's "online now!"). It's more targeted than putting it out on laughably polluted Myspace, so from an online marketing perspective, it's a fair deal for ScarJo, and an even better deal for iMeem. But from the perspective of a Tom Waits fan, it's tragic. "I Don't Want To Grow Up" redone as a droning plinky synth-pop song? We're not friends any more. If all goes well technically, her playlist is embedded after the jump. Good credibility-builder for iMeem. Bad for ears:

Conscious intellectual hip hop star Common has announced the winner of his big "Lincoln Spotlight" lyricist competition with Lincoln—the car manufacturer that represents hip hop culture. The winner wrote a song based on "Lincoln's brand truths: advancing the American dream, exploring what it means to reach higher, daring to do more and taking pride in one's history." That is so exactly Lincoln. And hey, just last week Common landed a role in the next Terminator movie! My irrational haterade judgment of him as a tool continues to be confirmed and re-confirmed. For those of you curious about what it takes to succeed in hip hop in 2008, the lyrics of the winning Lincoln Spotlight entry are after the jump. Feel the brand truths:

So, have there been any updates in the prolonged daily rollout of salacious details about "Preston," the mystery professional athlete who allegedly had a fling with Terrance Dean, former closeted MTV producer and author of the upcoming book on the gay side of hip hop? Well yes there has been an update! Though we must say, he's really trickling this story out slowly. Today, Preston—who we now know is a pro basketball player—reveals his down-low status, and then takes Terrance home to meet his mom:

Terrance Dean, the former MTV producer who's about to release his hotly-anticipated-by-us book on the gay secrets of hip hop, has provided a few more details on "Preston," the mystery pro athlete who Dean says he had a fling with at an island resort. So all of you who guessed football players, baseball players, or Mike Tyson: wrong!:

Wow, so I'm apparently getting blasts from The Sharper Image and they're inviting me to "demo" their new and insane and wonderfully useless products. This is some sort of LASER THEREMIN I think? Should I do it?

Optimum Online commercials: they are now their own genre. A specific category at the Grammy Awards, a spot in the Olympic Games, and a bust on Mount Rushmore are reserved specifically for the psychedelic, grating ads that this strange company produces. The original "Reggaeton-Jet Ski-Lifeguard" spot was an over-the-top classic after only 17,000 exposures per person in the Tristate area; the follow up spot, all shiny, kinetic, and Hype Williams-esque, expanded the motif. Now there's a new one in circulation, and it shifts the setting to suburbia, with a sort of knockoff Gwen Stefani character whirling through a household with backup dancers, and the odd appearance of an old lady who is also a race car driver. Philosophers, break out your thinking caps. The full ad is after the jump.

Yesterday, Kanye West got all screechy and babyish about a luke warm Entertainment Weekly review. Today, he has blogger's remorse. He says on his website, "Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old."

Poor Kanye West. Entertainment Weekly recently gave the performer's (rapper's? I only know that one song from like four years ago) concert at Seattle's Key Arena a mere B+. That didn't sit well. Not at all. On his website, West states: "Yo, anybody that's not a fan; don't come to my show. For what?! To try and throw ya'll two cents in? Ya'll rated my album shitty and now ya'll come to the show and give it a B+. What's a B+ mean? I'm an extremist. It's either pass or fail! A+ or F-!" You know what, fuck you and the whole fucking staff!!!"

Not that we have to remind you, but you should be making your preparations now to attend the August 30 "Million DJ March" in Washington, DC. One million DJs—a number equal to almost all of the DJs in Williamsburg—will "descend on Washington to celebrate decades of service to the entertainment industry." And what worthier cause could there be?

In an apparent response to a crazy, shrill right wing campaign by the "Parents Television Council" to get companies to pull their ads from hip hop TV shows like Rap City, Procter&Gamble—the world's biggest advertiser—has set up a hotline for consumers to call and weigh in on whether they're offended by seeing ads for Tide detergent on 106 & Park, or whatever [AllHipHop via MultiCultClassics]. This campaign goes to the heart of the controversial question: should corporate America give money to things associated with black people?

Thousands of people in Jamaica turned out last weekend to celebrate the life of Bob Marley's mother, who apparently died earlier this month, in a development I totally missed. Her name was Cedella Booker, and she died at the age of 81, outliving her son by 27 years. Bob Marley, the reggae superstar who was (argument starter) the most notable musician of the 20th century, now leaves behind only his seemingly endless procession of kids to carry on his name—his British dad died in 1955. We should also note that Marley once had a brief affair with Vogue editor Anna Wintour. Noted! Anyhow, let's take a moment to remember Cedella Booker, who recorded two albums herself, and wrote two books about her son [The Root]. Her life produced a net gain in the world's happiness. How shall we memorialize her? With a video of her son singing "Natural Mystic," of course:

We now have one answer, at least, to the question of why actress Scarlett Johansson recorded an album of Tom Waits cover songs. It's not just the promo pictures! It's also so there can be a music video in which we, her many fans, get to follow Johansson around during one of her trying days, be all impressed as she hangs out with smarty pants writer Salman Rushdie and sympathize as makeup is painstakingly applied to her face and her hair curled. We also stalk Johansson as she jets off on an airplane and then, upon landing, washes her face. She also gets flowers from fans and shuttled around in the back of an SUV. I actually can't stop watching. And the song is growing on me. I have actually come to agree that Johannson's voice "works convincingly in the musical context" of the song. Frightening! Watch the pretty lady sing the scary song, over and over again, after the jump.

Terrance Dean, the gay former record exec and author of the upcoming book "Hiding In Hip Hop" that promises to EXPOSE THE GAY RAPPERS (we hope) has a blog! Well, a little one. At this point it only has three entries. Still, the book itself doesn't come out for two more weeks, and nobody has offered us a bootleg copy yet, so we're going to go through his blog entries carefully for any clues as to it's EXPLOSIVE contents. After the jump, a little detective work and a lot of blind speculation.

Stoner heroes Snoop Dogg and Willie Nelson got together in Amsterdam to perform "Superman." Video after the jump.

Artist Suze Rotolo has written a book about her four years as Bob Dylan's muse in the early Sixties. But be warned: "This is about as far from a juicy tell-all as a memoir can get: Rotolo does share some private details of the story of her romance with Dylan-the two met in 1961, when Rotolo was 17 and Dylan was 20, and were a couple for some four years-but her approach is so sensitive, discreet and affectionate that she never comes off as opportunistic. This is an honest book about a great love affair, set against the folk music revival of the early 1960s, but its sense of time and place is so vivid that it's also another kind of love story: one about a very special pocket of New York, in the days when impoverished artists, and not just supermodels, could afford to live there."

"Who's the gay rapper?" It's been a parlor game in hip hop for years. A short and incomplete list of some of the most common names tossed around: Kanye West, Puffy, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, Common, and, of course, lisping, yoga-master rap mogul Russell Simmons. While there are plenty of rumors for each one, most of those guys are suspected, honestly, because of their fashion sense (except Lil Wayne, who kissed a guy). Or because somebody's homeboy's cousin knows this cat who Puffy tried to do a three-way with. Innuendo is king. But now a formerly closeted gay MTV music executive named Terrance Dean is about to release a book—which has been anticipated for more than a year—that he says will out the gay rappers once and for all. Don't be mad, y'all! This could be the chance of a lifetime for one lucky closeted homosexual.

Finally, the website for the "Grand Theft Auto IV" game is up. You can reportedly tune in to a radio station there and hear none other than designer/ DJ Karl Lagerfeld talking about "keeping things moving with the music that liberated all of us, taught us we were all the same, showed us that computers were our friends." Can't argue with the man's logic! Bonus, the game's slogan: "Liberty City: Overpriced real estate in a cultural wasteland." Hey, that sounds familiar. [via Agenda Inc.]

So, major music magazines: are they in trouble or what? The music industry is driven by young influencers, who are some of the most tech-savvy people in the world, meaning they're turning away from print magazines in droves, if they haven't already. In addition to that, the majority of major music magazines are crap. Ad revenue at most of them plummeted in the first quarter: Blender's revenue was down 9%; Vibe's was down 19%; and Rolling Stone's was down 27% (Spin was up 27%, huzzah). But savvy managers like Blender publisher Ben Madden aren't concerned, because they know that you all turn to them when you want to real authentic info, man: