In November, artist Petr Pavlensky—now famous for nailing his scrotum to the ground in the Red Square—set fire to the wooden doors of Moscow’s Federal Security Service headquarters. He stood there quietly with the gasoline canister for about 30 seconds until he was arrested. He was charged with “vandalism motivated by ideological hatred.” This week, psychiatric experts declared Pavlensky sane and fit to stand trial for his actions, RIA Novosti reports.

A 21-year-old woman is in “serious condition” at Moscow’s Sklifosovsky Institute after posing for a selfie with a handgun on Thursday and accidentally firing the weapon into her temple, The Independent reports.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has not been seen in public for more than a week, The New York Times reports. Is he sick? Is he dead? Is he in Switzerland with his pregnant Olympic gymnast mistress for the birth of his third, unconfirmed child? Certainly not. (But maybe!)

Poor Ed Snowden, who will never again be able to enjoy the smell of the homeland, step foot in the United States to go to Dave & Busters, or sample an unlimited Olive Garden pass. Right? Actually, indefinitely holing up in Moscow sounds pretty fucking sweet.

A rush-hour train derailment in Moscow today killed 19 people and injured 150, according to Russian officials. At least 50 of the injured are reportedly in grave condition.

Shit's getting serious in the world now. Fortunately, there's plenty of toilet paper.

Since the start of the Olympic Games in Sochi yesterday, at least 14 people have been arrested across Russia for staging — or attempting to stage, or perhaps even thinking about staging — protests of Russia's anti-gay laws.

"Moscow city officials are now offering free rides on the subway to any passenger who does 30 squats before crossing the ticket barrier to enter the metro." Did America lose the Cold War after all?

On Sunday morning, Edward Snowden boarded an Aeroflot flight in Hong Kong, landing in Moscow more than 13 hours later. We think. The truth is, no one's quite sure where the NSA leaker is—Moscow? Havana? Quito? Reykjavik? (He's not on Aeroflot Flight 180, we know that much.) But we can reconstruct his movements—and speculate where he's headed.

NSA Leaker Edward Snowden was supposed to be on Aeroflot Flight 180 from Moscow to Havana. He wasn't. But "dozens" of journalists are. It just took off. And there's no booze service on board. Welcome to the Cuban Whistleblower Crisis.

NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden left Hong Kong this morning on a flight bound for Moscow. Snowden's departure was apparently aided by Wikileaks, which posted a statement regarding Snowden's "safe exit from Hong Kong" on its Twitter early this morning.

Despite introducing itself to the Russian market in 2007, Starbucks has yet to become the country's only coffeehouse.

The three members of feminist Russian punk band Pussy Riot were sentenced today in Moscow to two years in jail after being found guilty of "hooliganism driven by religious hatred."

The Pussy Riot trial — in which three members of a Russian punk collective were charged with "hooliganism" and held in jail for months over a guerrilla performance Moscow's Christ the Savior Cathedral (you can read more about it here) — ended yesterday with two of the defendants, Yekaterina Samutsevich and Nadezhda Tolokonnikova (on the right and the left, respectively, in the above photo), giving closing statements. You should read them.

When you think "binge eating," caviar is probably one of the last foods that comes to mind. But hey, competitive eating doesn't just have to be about pies and hot dogs.

Speaking of youth-obsessed Russian leader, bad husband, and likely ballot-stuffer Vladimir Putin, have you looked at his face lately? Rumors about Putin's plastic surgery have been floating around since September, but his face keeps getting stranger. At a recent elections-related appearance, he looked like Rachel Zoe. Fillers, I'm thinking, plus Botox on the forehead.

Amid election discrepancies and in the wake of rumored affairs and spousal abuse, the wife of despotic Russian leader Vladimir Putin has gone missing. Where's Lyudmila?

Breakups are bad news, as we all know. Who here hasn't spent a week binging on raw cookie dough and episodes of The Good Wife after getting dumped? Or gotten behind the wheel of his cab, naked and drunk, and crashed into 17 cars?

Remember when that video of actor Bradley Cooper speaking French was going around? I was all, What's the big deal? It's just this really handsome guy speaking fluently in the most romantic language on the planet? Well! I think I sort of "get it" now.

Saturday morning, young Moscow journalist Oleg Kashin was attacked and savagely beaten by two men. Everyone believes it was retaliation for his work—which, distressingly, wasn't even all that radical. Today, video of the beating emerged.